this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2022
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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John Brown did nothing wrong. (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago by Yuritopiaposadism@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
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[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

:jb-shining: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little slaver? I’ll have you know I studied with abolitionist Elizur Wright, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on slave plantations, and I have over 7 confirmed kills.

I am trained in breechloaders and I'm a top marksman with .52 caliber Beecher's Bibles. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that white supremacist shit? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Underground Railroad operatives across the south and your plantation's home address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, sinner. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Sharps rifles and pikes and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Creation, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo. :JB-shining-aggro:

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is this original content???

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It's just Navy Seal copypasta, Harpers Ferry edition.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah but it's done very tastefull :xi-clap: :john-brown:

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

:avoheart:

[–] copandballtorture@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You even made the Beecher's bible reference o7. I'd like to see a potawotami creek massacre mention if you could squeeze it in

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Don't let your John Brown memes be dreams. :john-brown:

[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

Best iteration I’ve seen yet.

[–] GnastyGnuts@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It was illegal to have a revolution against the British Empire and create the United States. Legalists are some of the dumbest people on the entire planet of earth.

[–] LeftistJoeBiden@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Only thing with less brains than legalists are anarcho-capitalists, you can go cash that at a credit union for a buffalo nickel, ya old cud farmer

[–] SaniFlush@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It reminds me of that old kid's book about the goose who decided they were smart because they owned a book, and didn't even think of reading the book until they got hurt after making some very confident and obviously false statements.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

"At the time the industrial extermination of Jews, Slavs, Roma homosexuals, and the disabled was legal, so no... and it's illegal to kill people so... No. The Allies were not right."

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I bet they'd be singing a very different tune if it was a question of breaking the laws of a communist government

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

that's different :wojak-nooo:

[–] pppp1000@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Even when chattel slavery was illegal, they didn't stop doing it. Check out my last post. The slaveowners are probably still alive. John Brown is needed now more than ever.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

The slaveowners are probably still alive.

The Clintons Had Slaves

Clinton was, however, generous enough to allow inmates from Arkansas prisons to work as unpaid servants in the Governor’s Mansion. In It Takes a Village, Hillary Clinton writes that the residence was staffed with “African-American men in their thirties,” since “using prison labor at the governor’s mansion was a longstanding tradition, which kept down costs.” It is unclear just how longstanding the tradition of having chained black laborers brought to work as maids and gardeners had been. But one has no doubt that as the white residents of a mansion staffed with unpaid blacks, the Clintons were continuing a certain historic Southern practice. (Hillary Clinton did note, however, that she and Bill were sure not to show undue lenience to the sla…servants, writing that “[w]e enforced rules strictly and sent back to prison any inmate who broke a rule.”

~ It Takes a Village, Hillary Clinton, 1995

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

I may have been a lib once but at least I've known John Brown was right since before I hit puberty

[–] MoreAmphibians@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

John Brown did some things wrong (in terms of tactics).

[–] h3doublehockeysticks@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

John Brown deserves to be hung for being a hopeless fool! He attempted to capture Virginia with seventeen men when he ought to know that it would require at least twenty-five.

Thaddeus Stevens