this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2025
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[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.

[–] cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Isn't Wisconsin like a cold version of Alabama?

[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this "trade"?

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Where they’re going they don’t need no universities.

[–] Veneroso@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Nobody's going to go there after abortion is banned.

Nobody wants their prince or princess saddled with that.

[–] nooneescapesthelaw@mander.xyz 15 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Why would I want to join Canada???? I don't do well in the cold smh my head

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 23 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).

-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).

-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).

-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.

-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.

-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.

-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.

-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).

-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.

and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).

(We couldn't find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago
[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Is this an unlabeled bad joke that's too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 38 minutes ago* (last edited 38 minutes ago)

We are on Lemmy, so it's mostly still save to assume the first case

I actually liked the joke too

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

michigan is obviously already canadian _

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 5 points 5 hours ago

I wouldn't mind becoming a part of Canada so long as I still can get my financial aid for college. That, and we make it so anything coming in from Asia to the US has to either go to through us and we make them pay a little extra for it, or it be sent along another route.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 11 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Australia can come too. THE END!

Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.

[–] buzz86us@lemmy.world 25 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Oh man I'd love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don't have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.

[–] Baguette@lemm.ee 13 points 7 hours ago

Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.

I’m a Canadian and my dream is to one day fake my death and move to Minnesota where I can live in a small cabin away from anyone.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 6 hours ago

Hey I'm North Carolina, can we get in on this?

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You forgot Colorado. But yes.

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] stoly@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I’m accept Illinois too.

[–] isyasad@lemmy.world 40 points 12 hours ago (13 children)

Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I'll also throw in Hawaii for free.

[–] Qwazpoi@lemmy.world 11 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Having Arizona would a big L for Canada

[–] Sweetpeaches69@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Yeah, but how else do they get Colorado and New Mexico?

[–] FanciestPants@lemmy.world 10 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.

[–] greenhorn@lemm.ee 2 points 3 hours ago

Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway

[–] Baguette@lemm.ee 7 points 7 hours ago

Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do

Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Y'all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 25 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them

[–] leadore@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 16 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (3 children)

Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.

Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world's 6th largest economy.

Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?

[–] jg1i@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

They've been there since like the 1500s. Lol.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 18 points 9 hours ago

They are already here. Who the fuck you think does the farming?

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 21 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 10 points 11 hours ago

Wonderful news, everyone!

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 21 points 13 hours ago

Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn't divided into easily managed nation states.

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