this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 148 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think pulling your pants down to fart is more embarrassing than doing explosive diarrhea into the Thames.

[–] frankenswine@lemmy.world 83 points 4 days ago

old fashioned

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 9 points 3 days ago

Diarrhea is a lot more understandable reason to do that. A fart you could've just sneakily let go while walking

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Ah yes, I believe this is called "Much Ado About Nothing" in Stratford-upon-Avon.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 57 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Do it every day at the exact same time for 1 month.

Call it performance art.

People will be in awe at your revolutionary creative ambition

Art studios might actually finance your project

Embarrassment averted

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

I think we should commission a statue

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'd be more embarrassed to end up being a performance artist than the bare bottomed bridge farter tbh.

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

the bare bottomed bridge farter

Now we have an alias

[–] LazerFX@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

I've got to make it alliterative - The bare bottomed bridge beefer.

I have no idea why I just posted that, but it made me giggle.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

Ideally that would just be their aka but unfortunately that's not the whimsy we live in.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At least in the 90s you could have got on Eurotrash with your act.

Probably in the segment just after a Belgian naturist with tits like windsocks.

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

And right before the guy who makes authentic models of Austrian villages with his own faeces.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm sure there's a curator at the Tate Modern that would entertain this argument.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 3 days ago

At one point they are an arrangement of stacked plastic boxes. So it's clear they'll take anything

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 days ago

Soon a queue will form and you can charge 5 quid at the door

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 89 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like a normal day in London for those other people.

[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 29 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Exactly, I mean it's the British food, they eat beans for breakfast for example. Explosive diarrhea must be illness number one.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Only for the weak with 0 fiber in their diet.

[–] RecallMadness@lemmy.nz 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How you eat beans and still manage to get 0 fiber is beyond me.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 3 points 3 days ago

That's meat beans, maybe

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago

illness number one in London is whatever strain has developed sentience on the tube

[–] amon@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

they eat beans for breakfast

we're too broke for that

[–] Trollception@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

Everyone is going to be talking about it like I can't believe I saw some guy about to shit off the side of the bridge. Then about 1 hour later everyone will have forgotten and only you remember now.

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 69 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not quite a shitpost but almost one. A fartpost.

[–] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago

Let's be generous and go with a shartpost.

[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 42 points 4 days ago
[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 35 points 4 days ago

As long as he farted in the general direction of France, he'd be OK.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 28 points 4 days ago

Never gamble on a fart.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 22 points 4 days ago

This is why i need to move back to a big city, i mss this kind of interaction with my fellow humans.

Maybe this is the same guy on holiday ?

https://thethaiger.com/news/national/fat-farang-strips-naked-and-poops-in-bangkok-shrine-video

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

infront

Well we know he's not got a suit job.

[–] molten@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wrong. He's clearly an average CEO

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

No, a CEO would've made sure a boat was passing umder the bridge

[–] YerbaYerba@lemm.ee 8 points 4 days ago

Bird instincts

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

ive done this but with poop

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Projectile shit into the river?

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

yea in general

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ngl I’ve been walking to work one time and thought I needed to fart and followed through with liquid shit down my legs. Now I was always late cause it was a shit job, so I just rang and told them the truth and that I was going for a shower. When I got to work every fucker was cheering about me shitting myself.

I’ve had two other occasions where I’ve gone from normal to a sweaty, nauseous mess with an incredible urge to poop. One time did it in some grass after getting off the tram for an unscheduled stop and once in a train bathroom where I thought i would be found passed out covered in shit 👀 💩

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Have you considered your diet, my good man?

Tell me more?

Diet is pretty poor. I rarely eat a lot.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

On Tuesday I felt like I badly needed to shit. I was working at a hospital and the secluded bathroom was out of toilet paper so I went to one in the main part of the hospital. It was just farts. Possibly the most gas I've ever had. I have hemorrhoids pretty bad and farting while sitting on a toilet is the worst thing for making them very angry.

Plus mad people were walking by and stopping to have conversations by the door, so many people listened to me fart 40 times.

[–] Darkblue@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Your username weirdly checks out...

And on a side note: there are a lot of ways to cure/alleviate piles. What are your weapons of choice?

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I just try to get plenty of water and fiber. I need surgery but I can't imagine having time for that. Work is frantic.

[–] Darkblue@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Good to hear that you know your options and what to do/eat. Do you use water/bidet instead op TP? And yes, surgery is annoying with the weeks healing after the procedure. Good luck in any case!

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As usual, real comedy is in the comment section.