this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My uncle fell for this scam and bought some “prime agricultural land” in the middle of a flood plain—he had to come up with this whole technique he calls “geometry” just to find it again each spring.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What's he going to talk about next, those idiotic "wheel" things? Stupid fads.

[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago

So sick of wheelbros. Yeah you roll, shut up about it already.

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bread is a gift from the gods, and it is BLASPHEMY to say otherwise!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would the gods give us a gift we had to plant and process ourselves when there's plenty of mammoths and there always will be?

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I bet you complained when the gods gave us fire too!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Why would I do that? Fire comes from when the forest burns down and that's when the gods send a bolt from the sky. Everyone knows that.

You can make bread. You can't just make fire. 🙄

[–] hono4kami@pawb.social 7 points 2 weeks ago

Actual funny meme? In my fediverse app?

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 3 points 2 weeks ago

Pointless red circle?