this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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Guess we can indirectly measure the maximum value of a human life - turns out I could buy several with my walking around money.

top 39 comments
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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 224 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

So assassinating CEOs is good for the stock market? Hmm.

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 85 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's a strange thing but the chart is right there in front of us

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 59 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Given how much CEOs are leaches on companies, it should be true as long as they don't replace the CEO.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Jokes aside, it's almost certainly because the algorithms tell them that press mentions=interest=buy

[–] RarePossum@programming.dev 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it's because they released their earnings report and it was positive actually

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 3 weeks ago

I mean, yeah? They don't deny claims because it loses them money.

[–] hmonkey@lemy.lol 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's a mission exactly like this in GTA V, you kill the LifeInvader CEO and watch the stock market go brrrrr

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

I really liked that one, it was soooo fucked though (no spoilers, but let's just say it's a bit mind blowing). It lead to similar side missions where you got to do that to others, too.

[–] VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

You know how expensive CEOs are? Huge expense suddenly gone.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

No parachute fees either

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

Their 'work' is among the easiest to automate.

But, automation for thee, profits for me, says C Suite, and so it shall be.

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Plus companies generally have life insurance on all of their employees. I'm sure the policy on this guy is fairly substantial (if the claim isn't denied, kek)

[–] DashboTreeFrog 13 points 3 weeks ago

Hope people are taking notes

[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 155 points 3 weeks ago

We've been sacrificing underpaid workers, labourers and academics alike, to the stock market for years with such small returns. A single CEO is sacrificed and the line skyrockets.

We've been targeting the wrong people.

[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 95 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You know how people like to satirize the stock market by claiming it runs on blood?

We're living in a satire.

It is not satire, it is usually just that the blood sacrifices are usually more obfuscated and hidden.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 56 points 3 weeks ago

He died doing what he loved... Hurting people during the exact worst moments of their entire lives, but through layers of obfuscation so he could treat people like widgets.

[–] Einstein@sh.itjust.works 55 points 3 weeks ago

One CEO down, only a few thousand more to go.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TheSaus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago

Ahaha can hear him saying it

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago

follow the money

[–] sudo@programming.dev 22 points 3 weeks ago

Its actually way down now. That line jump is from Thompson selling his stocks before getting his claim denied. One of the reasons people suspected it being a hired hit (which I doubt).

[–] credo@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No Christmas bonus this year.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

It's ok, Christmas came early.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

.world gonna ban the New York Stock Exchange now.

[–] sqibkw@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

As much as I'm rooting for this meme, the spike was very brief and the stock has been falling consistently over the last day 😔

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably just a bunch of people getting in on the short.

[–] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Buy high sell low

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

BEHOLD! THE MARKET HAS SPOKEN! LET IT BE SO! GO FORTH AND SERVE YOUR MASTER!

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

WE MUST SACRIFICE MORE CEO BODIES TO THE NASDAQ GODS.

FOR GROWTH!

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hmm, what has the bigger effect on stock market: firing 1000s of workers or shooting a CEO?

[–] bokherif@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

New method of market manipulation dropped...except this time manipulated by the common folk

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Let me get a gun and some Tesla stocks

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I don't know if this is a plan, or like a regular order at a American drive thru.

"A number 9, a gun, and some Tesla stocks, no ketchup. Please and thank you."

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When did Wallstreet get so based?

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

It didn’t, the stock is down 30% this week, OP just cropped a completely bullshit and misleading time window.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

You know people keep saying this event is unifying everyone, didn’t realize it could mean the rich as well.

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Something something something, fiduciary duty.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Well, explaining the noise is a game that can be played here too...

Everybody seems intent on doing it, why not us?