Save jellyfish by polluting the oceans with plastic
this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Save the trees, eat the beavers!
If I was a hungry sea turtle, I would simply eat the jellyfish instead of the plastic.
If I was a hungry sea turtle, I'd open the jars to check which one of them has jellyfish inside.
Hey, that's cheating!
Cheating according to wh—oh, darn, shrink-wrap license strikes again
If I was a hungry sea turtle, I'd just order a pizza.
Be a rebel by also doing your best to avoid the trash in the first place.
And most importantly, work to disassemble the systems that normalize and support the production of the wasteful and toxic materials we now call trash.
Are you suggesting that we should burn down companies and factories? Cuz I'd never agree to meet you at a specific time and place so that we could disassemble the means of production and effectively delete entire toxic cogs of the economy.
In fact, tell me precisely where and when you plan on meeting so that I can definitely avoid you.
Reduce, reuse, recycle, revolt
i would NEVER suggest burning down factories, as those can be quite easily reconfigured to produce useful things or simply be converted into quite nice neighbourhoods.
How do the turtles open the jars?
This is fucked up, the scientists ought to know turtles can’t operate jars.
The answer seems obvious. Introduce the turtles to Kraft Mac and Cheese. Its better than jellyfish and still comes in a paperboard box.
Mac and cheese? How do you not know turtles love pizza?
The ones that moved to NYC, maybe. But no one likes soggy, salt-watered crust.
I can tell the jellies are on the right and that they're in the genus Aurelia. Seems like a skill issue
Now imagine you're a hungry sea turtle.
I already do that every day. What's next?
The soft calls of the quetzals wake you. You're finally free. The idea of ragebaiting and news of the American Election Cycle is nowhere to be found.
The warm Caribbean sun shines on your shell, maybe a bit too warmly. Time for a dip in the ocean and maybe a light snack.
Instructions unclear, I'm crying uncontrollably
It's really easy to tell the difference. The jellyfish is the one that hurts you immediately when you try to swallow it and the plastic bag is the one that causes problems in 1.5-3 minutes with catastrophic problems around 10 minutes.
Not if you're a sea turtle. They eat jelly fish and are immune to their venom
I mean I can tell the jellyfish apart from the plastic bag in this example, so maybe those turtles just need glasses.
You're outside the water now. You have get inside the water then try to find the difference.
glub glub glub glub
turtles eat jellyfish?
Yep for some species it's their main food source
huh. live and learn.
i guess for other species it's pizza?
Only while they're adolescent.
You need the calories for the growth spurt, also to keep up with the ninja training
Lets make bags out of jellyfish!
Save the turtles but fuck these jellyfish. we will just put them in a jar for our display.
To be fair, we currently have an overpopulation of jellyfish due to both the decline of turtles and raising sea temperatures, so if anything, this is helping.
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Instead of shooting up schools imagine if Americans shot up industrial sources of litter
We had one of those near Buffalo NY.
It was totally unrelated to litter, but...
Thats alot of semen
Wow that's gotta be a record for fastest evolutionary change in response to man made disasters. Good work jellyfish!
Turtle is ging to szay hungry. It can open neither of them, because it's missing those precious opposable thumbs.
im all for getting rid of single use plastics and returning to sustainables like paper and glass. metals have their own issues like expense, and oxidation.
Let the jellyfish out
Also imagine being in the water with all those jellyfish the turtle didn't eat.
Those sickos bottle up the food for the sea turtles and now they're gonna starve!
The point is that they'll sell the bottles to the turtles. The turtles are gonna have to work to earn it. For dozens of millions of years they've been freeloading, receiving handouts from the sea. They're finally gonna contribute to the economy.
bro if im hungry the last thing i want is a jellyfish
I know right. Imagine the horror: you are about to eat a tasty platic bag, but you realize it's actually a jellyfish
Um, I think trying to swallow a whole bottle like that may present bigger problems
People that litter are human trash.
Easy. Replace the turtle with more plastic bags.
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