this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Hundreds of truckles of cheddar worth more than £300,000 have been stolen from London cheese specialist Neal’s Yard Dairy.

Fraudsters posing as legitimate wholesalers received the 950 clothbound cheeses from the Southwark-based company before it was realised they were a fake firm.

Neal's Yard said it had still paid the producers of the cheese so the individual dairies would not have to bear the costs.

It is now trying to deal with the financial setback, a spokesperson said.

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[–] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

"Alright boys, I want you to break into that warehouse and steal all the cheddar!"

"On it Boss!"

A few hours later

"What do you mean you stole 22 tonnes of cheese!? I meant the money you numbskulls!"

"But Boss, I can feel my skull just fine?"

"Aaarrrgggg!!!"

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

"Why I oughta..."

It's the worst slang-based heist mix-up since the Baker Burglars (as they were later known) made off with a truck full of dough.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How the hell do you steal 22 tonnes of anything in the middle of London?

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

From the sounds of it; a rather special case of "show up with a saftey vest, a clipboard, and a determined look on your face, and most people just wave you through"

Warehouses often aren't all that high security. You could get away with this in most of the ones I've worked in.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I guess, but London is one of the most surveilled places I've ever seen. You are within the view of a CCTV camera pretty much everywhere.

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Once it's mobile, leave London and transfer it either to another city, or into different vehicles and back into London. It probably took a while for the warehouse to realize what had happened, so the thieves had quite a head start against the investigators.

It's a game of hide and seek now, until they can offload it to a buyer.

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why would you assume there's a buyer? Maybe these people just really really like cheese

[–] PlantJam@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you ate two pounds of cheese a day every day (about 3700 calories), it would take 66 years to get through all 22 metric tons.

[–] thejml@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

So you’re saying there IS a way!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

It must have taken extensive planning. This will make an entertaining film one day.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 4 points 1 week ago

A clipboard with a spreadsheet printout will get you a long way in a lot of places.

[–] Thewhizard@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] qupada@fedia.io 11 points 1 week ago

My first time hearing that word too, but apparently: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truckle

late Middle English (denoting a wheel or pulley): from Anglo-Norman French trocle, from Latin trochlea ‘sheaf of a pulley’. The current sense dates from the early 19th century and was originally dialect.

[–] Squeezer@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

This is such a shame, I love Neal’s Yard. You go in there, and they just keep handing you little pieces of different delicious cheeses until you crumble and give them all of your money. It’s such a charming way of doing things, I overspend every single time, and never regret it.

[–] sgt_hulka@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

But ... What does one do with 22 tonnes of cheddar? Is there a cheesy black market? Can you buy a wheel off a guy for Bitcoin?

[–] T156@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Is there a cheesy black market?

There is, like there is for olive oil, or maple syrup. Especially if it's authentic. Olive Oil infamously has multiple fakes floating about, where it's something else passed off as olive oil.

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Really big fondue party

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Make some really cheesey Mac and cheese, grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, and pizza.

[–] Aesecakes@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I can't wait for the forthcoming movie, The Grate Cheese Robbery, starring Chedward Norton, Tilda Stilton, Brie Larson, Goudafrey Rush, and Dwayne "The Roquefort" Johnson. With a special appearance by Robert Paneero.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

TIL there's a black market for cheese...

[–] MMNT@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

It's the most stolen product in the world. Doesn't depreciate in value and can be stored for a long time.

[–] Railison@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago

This sounds like a Carmen Sandiego heist

[–] papacraw@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

if they find out who took it, they tell him it's

Not yo cheese!

notyo cheese!

nacho cheese.

I'm completely ignorant to Lemmys comment markup.

[–] sol6_vi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Somewhere Jake Peralta nods, satisfied.

[–] papacraw@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that's funny because "nods, satisfied" is the title of my sex tape.

[–] sol6_vi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago
[–] credo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Someone watched the Garfield movie and said, “This gives me an idea..”

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No Idea where that cheese went.