this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 81 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Serve with mayonnaise.

😂 There's a kind of innocent madness in this "recipe" that makes me happy.

[–] mbgid@lemmy.world 31 points 3 weeks ago

This absolutely screams "I was zooted on lithium when I came up with this" 🫤

[–] PlantPowerPhysicist@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

making the mayo optional was the only mercy to be found in this recipe.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Keep in mind, some dude in the 50's probably came home to this expecting meat and potatoes. Say what you will about "traditional marriage", but I'd only wish this travesty on the worst of the worst.

[–] mbgid@lemmy.world 72 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I love how fast and loose this plays with the definition of "salad".

[–] scrion@lemmy.world 36 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Right? Cover a fucking donut with mayonnaise, serve it on a single leaf of lettuce - boom, salad.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 9 points 3 weeks ago

You watch, Dunkin' Donuts will feature this next month as "healthy".

[–] mbgid@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Can't wait to see a black forest gateau salad.

[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

In the 70s salad was any sort of combination of plant material and sauce

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Yes! Throw some crap in jello, serve on a lettuce leaf, SALAD!

[–] kalpol@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Ah no. A salad was anything combined with anything else but not cooked (again). This led to some true abominations at the table. Too often, mayonnaise (and not even mayonnaise but Miracle Whip) served as the binder.

[–] sneekee_snek_17@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

My wife's grandma makes "pretzel salad", which is crushed pretzel sticks that are tossed with a mixture of margarine and cream cheese, I think, then baked until crispy then crumbled.

In the meantime, cream cheese, maybe whipped cream?, sugar, a few other onesies and twosies, and canned shredded pineapple are mixed into an unholy slop.

Then, when is time to serve, the crumbles are mixed in with the slop and there you go. Salad.

[–] mbgid@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Is this a side for a meal, or a dessert?

[–] sneekee_snek_17@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

I believe it's a dessert

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[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 40 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

The recipe actually started off halfway decent until the donuts and mayonnaise lol

It definitely sounds like some classic 1950s cooking... The only things missing are maraschino cherries and cut up hot dog weiners

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 weeks ago

Then put the whole thing in a jello mold.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 3 weeks ago

"then cover everything in aspic"

[–] Zier@fedia.io 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No one mentions how most of the bored housewives used drugs back then. This recipe is missing jello!!

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[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

And still not a salad lol, more like a dessert.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It started with prunes and cottage cheese. That's already bottom of the barrel right there.

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This has to be fake. No one would combine these.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 35 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Post war cooking was wild.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

My Silent Gen mom was an awful cook. Casseroles every damned night, same shit over and over again, zero tolerance for creatively changing a recipe. I could see her finding this recipe and serving it over and over again.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

took me a LONG time to recover from high school cafeteria’s Friday tuna casseroles (complete with canned peas)

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 22 points 3 weeks ago

3 random ingredients on a lettuce leaf: SALAD!

[–] MadhuGururajan@programming.dev 21 points 3 weeks ago

Shit like this is why meat eaters are not convinced going vegetarian isn't a conspiracy.

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well I think I can confidently speak for all "meat and potatoes" men when I say that not only would this not change my mind, I think I'd never be able to look at a prune in the same way again after eating this

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It would change my mind about ever spending time with this person ever again.

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

No, in fact this was NOT a good meal. You get no points, and may god have mercy on your soul!

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

"Eating this"?

I would possibly examine, dissect and document this. But eat?

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I hope that "chef" spent the rest of their life in prison.

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[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Adding lettuce does not a salad make. If I chop up some tomatoes and cover a cheesecake in ranch dressing, is it a salad? No, it's a crime against God and man, and restitution must be made.

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I've had a little theory that post war American food is universally terrible due to everyone smoking and destroying their taste buds. Stuff starts getting better in the mid 90s when smoking rates start noticeably dropping.

Especially with coffee. People used percolators for years. You know how bad percolator coffee is? So bad that when Mr Coffee came out, it sold for about the same inflation adjusted price as a modern entry level espresso machine. It went into high end restaurants and people thought it was amazing.

I don't know if this fully works, though. Much of Western Europe had higher smoking rates for longer, and the food isn't so shit.

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[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

This is just an episode of ~~Can't Cook, Won't Cook~~ Ready Steady Cook, where one of the contestants has brought in some prunes, cottage cheese, donuts and a lettuce.

I can already hear Ainsley Harriott getting unnecessarily excited.

(Edit: sorry, got my Ainsley Harriott cooking shows muddled up!)

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't forget the mayo mentioned in the last line.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Made me literally wtf out loud...like before that ehhh ok no but then Mayo???? Barf

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 weeks ago

I'll stick to meat and potatoes, thanks

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Growing up with food ideas like this might explain some things about boomers.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

If I drive home from the supermarkt with some baby leafs in the trunk, does that qualify as a human-car-salad? And would that be still be legal or count as attempted (self-)cannibalism?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 weeks ago

self-cabbage-ism

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[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

The "Serve with mayonnaise" got me at the end... I held it together until that point. Why was everything served with mayonnaise?

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That has to be parody. "Serve with mayonnaise" is too perfect a what-the-fuck ending.

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[–] Chuymatt@beehaw.org 6 points 3 weeks ago

I feel like a lot of postwar US cooking could be explained by the following facts:

  • A Americans lived through the great depression
  • All Americans lived through world war rationing
  • A huge portion of Americans grew up in a world where things like refrigeration, grocery stores, etc didn't exist.

The end result was the food equivalent of giving a thirteen year old from the 1990s a smartphone for the first time. Just pure disgusting excess with no real rhyme or reason.

[–] original_reader@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So has anyone of you tried this yet? What's your verdict?

[–] Zier@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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