this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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askchapo

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I'm an amazing shot but I don't suffer from main character syndrome, so I'd be the stoned to the bone quartermaster who cleans all guns just for fun.

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[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 37 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I literally grow beans for a living now so growing beans

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 22 points 4 weeks ago

The king! The king has revealed themselves!

[–] rhubarb@hexbear.net 28 points 4 weeks ago
[–] egg1918@hexbear.net 26 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 weeks ago

It's gonna be a full time job keeping so many bottoms out of the pit.

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 25 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SSJ3Marx@hexbear.net 23 points 4 weeks ago

I'm the guy forcing all of the poets to mine coal and all of the coal miners to write poetry.

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 21 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I will be part of the straight, white male gulag. But as a straight, white, male I will take the burden upon myself to be the liaison to the Femme Queer Commune. This will be a self appointed position where I speak for my fellow straightoids on my breaks from the mines.

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

You fool, you think we're gonna let the straights into our commune?

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[–] GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net 20 points 4 weeks ago

News anchor

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 20 points 4 weeks ago

I'm consulting with my handler, wait deep-infiltration

Right, it looks like I'm gonna be the public facing lawyer who lives outside the compound.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 20 points 4 weeks ago

Cum Retrieval Specialist

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 20 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Someone's gonna have to maintain order in the horny jail and administer punishments.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 20 points 4 weeks ago

Well since nobody offered to cook, guess I'll be grillman

Stovetop and grilling only though I cannot be trusted with baking anything except like nachos.

I can make some mean breakfast, stir fry, kebabs, etc.

I also love gardening so that too since we would likely want to grow as many ingredients as possible.

[–] gramxi@hexbear.net 19 points 4 weeks ago

CW hornydick sucking factory

that's not the workplace, it's my job title

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 19 points 4 weeks ago

I'll pet all the cats

[–] Des@hexbear.net 18 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

i can do lots of handyperson stuff excluding plumbing or carpentry (but can learn). im not a tradesperson but do good DIY work and have plenty of tools

also clean and cook. if you let me i'll see where i fall on the femme-butch scale when i wake up each day and assign me tasks based on that

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[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 18 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it's vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.

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[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 17 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Scaring off chasers harassing trans comrades

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 16 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Here take this super special AKm I got drunk and carved "Bash Back" into the wood stock and then went over it with glitter

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[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 17 points 4 weeks ago

Small business owner

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 16 points 4 weeks ago

provide sanitary sewers and clean drinkable water for everyone. And farm some.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Aquilae@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

The cooler janitor

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 15 points 4 weeks ago

I can make nuclear weapons so we can defend ourselves.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 15 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

i really wanted to mine coal but they made me read taror cards instead

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Yr in charge of our "Psychic Damage against Liberals" unit

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

crying while frantically looking through a book about tarot while doing a reading using a stack of Monopoly chance cards

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

That's a thing, people do tarot style readings with random found decks

You're a natural, job chosen

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[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 15 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

I'll be making liquor. There's a good chance I end up consuming a large chunk of it though

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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 15 points 4 weeks ago

rock stacker

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 15 points 4 weeks ago

I'm a nurse irl, so probably nurse!

[–] Florist@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago

Hard manual labor

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago

Digging a hole to China.

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Agriculture and hydroponics research.

Barring that? Compound defense. I'll get y'all clearing marksman if it kills me.

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago

Who need they spreadsheet mined?

But probably general maintenance. My favorite jobs were all fixing stuff: engines, guns, lasers, robots, computers, music gear, etc.

[–] AtomPunk@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Black Mage

I’ll provide a heat source, power, and refrigeration

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Probably about what I do now, musician by night, medical assistant by day.

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Game room technician. I'll keep all the machines in working order and make sure the board games get put away properly.

[–] estii@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

construction carpentry or cooking

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Cat Herder.

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

I'll be writing poetry in the coal mines

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Any job that would have me, preferably something about growing food, though at night I'd be happy to tell scary campfire tales about how fucked up capitalism used to be.

[–] Kestrel@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Toothbrush steward, because we have to share just one because no personal property

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

teacher and cook

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