this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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@UlyssesT@hexbear.net immediate had to post this. Saw it scrolling and thought of you Care-Comrade

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[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What deadlines lol, every year they don't deliver anything important.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

They deliver new spaceship and vehicle jpegs to buy (and sometimes playable! Sometimes) and that's been their revenue source for over a decade.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Attention midlife crisis dads who hate brown people being in their video games! Chris Roberts is in trouble and he needs you to buy another $60,000 ship jpeg! Just grab your mom's credit card and enter the 16 digit number, expiration date, and the three numbers on the back to stick it to the blue haired baristas looking to queer up your vidya games and get the win!!

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Ever see a photo of CitizenCon attendees? It's flashbang but aged up 20 years or so.

EDIT: You'll see an even older flashbang if you can find pictures of the exclusive le epic steak dinner that the dev company put on, specifically to sell yet another internet spaceship exclusively to the le epic steak buyers. I lost that picture when I swapped computers and it's an old event now.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Ever see a photo of CitizenCon attendees?

lenin-dont-laugh

[–] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

the density of bazinga brain there is approaching that of the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy

[–] GenXen@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Meanwhile the same chuds post FB/IG rage memes about how genZers being millionaires from OF or drug dealing while they have to work for a living only to throw money at this vaporware.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

how genZers being millionaires from OF

TBF OnlyFans is the only place they interact with Gen Zers

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

but mom needs that credit card to pay for the gift cards for the fellow on the phone who is trying to remove her linux mac virus

[–] fen@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

one employee down already

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Every time I hear about Star Citizen, I feel better about buying into Elite: Dangerous.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel like i should just consistently post myself playing No Man's Sky in Star Shitizen forums

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

That'd be a good bit, especially because No Man's Sky is like the anti-Star Citizen: it was loaded with false promises when it launched, but over time, it got better and better and kept getting better until it genuinely impressed me as a day one hater, all without thousands of dollars needed to "pledge" for spaceship jpegs.

Star Citizen is the one thing that can make an EVE Online player feel superior

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Every setback and drawback to Elite: Dangerous has been paraded around the Star Citizen cult as an indicator to keep the faith. That's amazing, because they try to sneer at flawed content when their content is just dream farts.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Elite: Dangerous is the game that I want to get good at one day, and every so often I think I have the time, so I install it, relearn how to fly my speship a little bit, then realize I actually don't have time and then uninstall it.

This cycle repeats once or twice a year

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

Elite Dangerous is fun as hell and it's too bad braben is a dipshit

[–] lorty@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Too bad Elite forgot to bring it's game design to 21st century.

[–] red_stapler@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I had fun with Elite before covid, but the direction it was developed in kinda killed the vibes for me.

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

How the hell does a game that isn't even released have an annual convention?

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

So people can show off their Jpegs that cost more than a car, and so Chris Robert's can pat them on the back and ask for more

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It has an annual convention for the same reason it has internet spaceship jpegs (some are playable while many are not, even years after first sale) for hundreds or even thousands of dollars each. capitalist-laugh

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this man could out-grift MelonHusk if he wasn't just into vidya spaships

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Chris Roberts already fancies himself the E~L~O~N of his own space fascist fantasy fiction:

https://starcitizen.tools/Chris_Roberts_(lore)

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

oh no.. no no no.. i don't need to know any real things about this guy.. please don't make me know things about him

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're only fictional things, rest assured, about how he's actually going to save humanity by bringing the light of consciousness to the stars and that his bazinga tech corporation will continue to be the biggest and bestest corporation even when there's occassional little issues like child laborers getting killed.

https://starcitizen.tools/Roberts_Space_Industries

In 2757, in response to the death of Anthony Tanaka, a twelve-year-old boy's refusal to work, RSI CEO Avel Gedima acknowledged the sad death and ordered a complete evaluation of all RSI facilities to make sure that they were adhering to all health and safety standards.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i mean real things about how awful of a human he is to create lore about himself being some sort of savior

this hurts me

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I admit it hurts me a little, too. It's disturbing to see such a blatant overt narcissist receiving close to a billion dollars all by wrangling the hopes and dreams of aging gamedads.

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 1 points 2 months ago

It has been playable for years.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I love the double scam going on: https://www.gamespot.com/articles/star-citizen-dev-is-forcing-employees-to-work-seven-days-a-week-report/1100-6526879/

The stated goals of this crunch time are to finish Star Citizen patch 3.24.2 and "the Squadron 42 demo showcase for Chapter 1." The report also notes that employees were pre-approved for 12 hours of TOIL (time off in lieu) per week, but only if the workers are still employed by Cloud Imperium Games when Squadron 42 ships. If any employees leave ahead of time, they will not be able to take their accumulated TOIL.

Squadron 42 was originally announced in 2012 with a 2014 release date. Four years ago Chris Roberts wasn't even willing to show off preliminary footage of it.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

TOIL just sounds ominous on its own, never mind the shitty conditions surrounding it

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

The only good space sim in like the last 20 year is star sector

[–] LeZero@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

Shart Shitizen by Fart Cloud Bazingarium