this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Called manager saying "I have been subject to a biological incident. I am requesting a 90 minute unpaid break."

Chat am I getting fired? Civil servant btw.

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[โ€“] queermunist@lemmy.ml 42 points 3 months ago

Tell them it's Havana Syndrome. ๐Ÿฅบ

[โ€“] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

anakin-padme-2 this was supposed to be in badposting, right?

[โ€“] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Speaker@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If it's any comfort, my "acclimating to GLP-1 agonist and metformin" self-shitting happened on a date (well, directly after a date, while I was driving home [mercifully on my own]), about 80% of which I spent feeling sick and looking sweaty and weird. It only happened the one time, though, so with any luck you'll acclimate and be fine.

[โ€“] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

It's been close to a year ๐Ÿ˜ญ

[โ€“] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

I've had some intestinal issues in the past comrade and I can tell you for certain that while most people will never admit to it most of us have probably shit ourselves a little bit at least once.

I feel absolutely no shame about this and we should normalize being able to talk about the fact we have all thrown away at least one pair of underwear at work.

Remember the rule, "never trust a fart" especially if there is any doubt at all, will save you emberassment if you play it safe and just take a bathroom break. Worst case you can say you just had to pee, best case you save yourself an unfortunate incident.

[โ€“] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's true, everybody has a little doodoo ass sometimes

[โ€“] LaBellaLotta@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

Well said comrade pibb

[โ€“] dditty@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

100%. Also it's a good idea to keep a change of clothes in your trunk or bag just in case. I remember I had an observation with a prof while student teaching, and I split the seat of my parents in first period. I had to drive home and back during 2nd just to barely make it in time for my 3rd hour observation. Now I keep a spare pair of pants with me.

I hadn't ever split my pants seat before, and it also hasn't happened since

[โ€“] SoylentSnake@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

i shidded a little on my third date w/ my most recent past lover, we were drinking outside and went back to my place and i had to piss like nobodies bizness and the force of the stream pushed out just a lil guy. luckily i was able to clench my cheeks and bidet that little sucker off, no contact with my undies, truly a blessed and cursed turn of events.

[โ€“] EatPotatoes@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago

Havana syndrome confirmed

[โ€“] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

Let they who has never sharted themselves a little bit cast the first stone!

[โ€“] heggs_bayer@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

Blame it on Hamas.

[โ€“] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

One time I ate an entire box of frosted mini wheats before my shift baking bagels. Turns out that fiber is not a myth after all.

[โ€“] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

lmao for real in this thread we should all admit to ourselves and everyone how we have all sharted at least once in our working lives. I think it will unironically build solidarity for comrades with IBS. It's more common than most people know.

[โ€“] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

"putin shit my pants brb"

[โ€“] Poogona@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

I don't think I've ever actually shit myself as an adult but I will stand in solidarity with my doodoo-assed comrades

[โ€“] glans@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

According to The Rules, if you aren't fired first thing tomorrow, that means you've scared them. You are in the power position.

[โ€“] kristina@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago
[โ€“] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

Civil servants have to shit their pants at least twice daily to comply with new austerity measures. You'll need to improve performance.

[โ€“] TreadOnMe@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

No, as long as it doesn't keep happening no one will give a shit (ho ho).

[โ€“] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you are sick enough to shit yourself you might be too sick to work

[โ€“] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

Permanent diarrhea is the most common side effect of semaglutide injections.

[โ€“] REgon@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

You don't have to be sick to shit your pants

[โ€“] REgon@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why would you get fired for shitting your pants?

[โ€“] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Got a bit paranoid after a convo with a long term unemployed friend on the drive home.