this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Students say Brigham Young University is policing this behavior even more than its parent church does.


Brigham Young University administrators have put an explicit ban on “same-sex romantic behavior” in the school’s Honor Code, and students say it goes farther than the Mormon Church’s policy on same-sex relationships.

In 2020, BYU deleted a ban on “homosexual behavior” from the Honor Code, leading some LGBTQ+ students to celebrate. But soon afterward, the Church Educational System, which governs all the BYU campuses, clarified that the deletion didn’t mean “same-sex romantic behavior” was acceptable. Last month, it added the language prohibiting “same-sex romantic behavior” to the code.

“Though the ban had never really lost its effect, for some students the official restoration of it still felt like a gut punch,” Religion News Service reports.

The Honor Code tells BYU students to live “a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman.” With the new language, it notes that “living a chaste and virtuous life also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior.”

BYU is affiliated with the Mormon Church (officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), which opposes same-sex relationships. The church won’t perform same-sex marriages and expects the faithful to refrain from sexual activity with members of the same gender. It also opposes gender transition, and church leaders have said that LGBTQ+ activism comes from Satan.

But some BYU students say certain LDS congregations look the other way when a member is dating someone of the same sex, while the college is policing dating relationships.

“Depending on where you are, who your religious leaders are, you can actually date people of the same sex with very little church repercussions,” BYU student Gracee Purcell, president of the RaYnbow Collective, a group for the college’s queer students and alumni, told Religion News Service. “At BYU, that usually gray line within the church is a hard line. Anything that they deem homosexual behavior, or same-sex romantic behavior, is not allowed.”

That “romantic behavior” could include dating, holding hands, or kissing. If a student engages in any of these, “as in years past, each situation will be handled on a case-by-case basis to help each student feel the love of the Savior and to encourage them to live their gospel covenants and university/college commitments,” says a list of BYU’s answers to frequently asked questions.

LGBTQ+ groups for BYU students and alums opposed the prohibition but said at least the school is being up front about its attitudes. “I’m just glad people can now finally see explicitly what’s happening,” Evelyn Telford, a vice president of Understanding Sexuality, Gender & Allyship, told the news service. “There’s no way to get around it that they are openly being discriminatory to queer students.” But it will make queer students feel more isolated and under scrutiny by others, she said.

The LGBTQ+ groups will continue doing their work, and the RaYnbow Collective will hold its annual off-campus Back-to-School Pride event in Provo, Utah, September 16. Provo is home to BYU’s main campus, and the school also has campuses in Idaho and Hawaii. Ensign College in Salt Lake City is governed by the Church Educational System as well.

Despite BYU’s anti-LGBTQ+ policies, queer students come to the university because of academics, family connections, or other reasons, Telford said. And some may not recognize they’re queer until they’re in college. That was the case with her, she said.

“It’s such a personal decision to be at BYU, and your sexuality shouldn’t mean you don’t deserve a place there,” she told Religion News Service.

Purcell added, “The lack of representation and the increase in religious and societal pressures won’t stop queer students from coming. But it will hurt them.”


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[–] Landrin201@lemmy.ml 145 points 1 year ago (33 children)

I still don't see how it's legal for an accredited university to have rules prohibiting sexual activity of their students

Want to be a religious school? That's fine, but you won't be accredited to teach any Gen Ed classes. Have your catholic pastor school, or your rabbinical school, that's fine. But you won't be making those into general education colleges.

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Uranium3006@kbin.social 67 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I want a refund on my taxes. I shouldn't have to pay for this

[–] bobman@unilem.org 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, the anti-tax people kind of have a point sometimes.

A lot of taxpayer money gets funneled to bullshit.

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have absolutely no problem with tax dollars going to towards the Pell Grant. Giving money to kids for an education is awesome.

I have a big problem when that money is for an education at a private religious school that openly and actively discriminates against protected classes.

[–] bobman@unilem.org 10 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I mean, we should just do what has been proven to work around the world and make college free to everyone who can get in.

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[–] SheeEttin@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hmm. I'm not sure if student aid should be counted there or not. Grants to the university itself should absolutely be forbidden, but if a student chooses to go there, should we deny them assistance? Maybe.

[–] regul@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel, generally, that tax dollars should not go to private companies or institutions.

[–] persolb@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Lots of things people think are public are legally private. Most transit agencies, the people who print the US dollar, some state universities… etc.

Usually the bylaws of these private entities are formed to stipulate that the governor or someone picks the equivalent of the CEO.

[–] bobman@unilem.org 10 points 1 year ago

If you're funded by tax dollars, you should be a public entity.

That way the work still gets done, but money isn't being wasted maximizing profit for owners.

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[–] Neato@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Student aid should count. That's money that could go to students seeking education in state schools, not religious schooling. This is just like bullshit voucher programs stealing tax payer funded school funds to be sent to religious schools.

If kids or their parents want to go to church school, they can pay for it themselves. Not the tax payer.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Accrediting agencies in the US are privately operated, too. There's a layer of independent oversight between the Department of Education and the schools themselves.

Whether that's good or bad is far beyond my knowledge, but that's how it's legal. It's just one private organization giving a thumbs up to another private organization.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

It's also not a great marketing move.

"Come to university but don't sleep around", na mate I'll go somewhere else.

Finding out who you are is the whole point of going to university, otherwise you might as well take an online course.

Idiots.

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[–] esadatari@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago (7 children)

i’m not even gay and id buttfuck a twink just to stick it to the man. then i would claim it’s not romantic because i’m not gay so how could i feel romance toward another male.

checkmate

[–] Neato@kbin.social 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] 3laws@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (3 children)

“romantic behavior” could include dating, holding hands, or kissing.

So no-strings-attached raw fucking is allowed only if they say no homo? Nice.

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[–] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about if there's no romance involved, and you're just aggressively banging to release the stress of studying.

[–] Staccato@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

"Sir you don't understand. We were being completely chaste while fucking the shit out of each other. We were just trying to prepare for that orgo exam."

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

sounds like discrimination to me

[–] SCB@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They're a private religious college, for Mormons, so discrimination on these grounds is not illegal.

The Honor Code tells BYU students to live “a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman.” With the new language, it notes that “living a chaste and virtuous life also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior.”

Par for the course for their religious beliefs

[–] totallynotarobot@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Why are shitholes like this allowed to exist? I thought y'all had separation of church and state. Indoctrination farms are antithetical to democracy and human decency.

Edit: I see from another comment this is a private institution. Disregard.

Edit 2: apparently private indoctrination farms get federal money. Boooooo

[–] Uranium3006@kbin.social 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They still get federal money though. I shouldn't have to pay for a college with my taxes that would reject me for who I am

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[–] ThePac@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

I thought y'all had separation of church and state.

Oh, honey...

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fucking Mormons, man. I swear...

[–] Mdotaut801@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They’re the worst. Unfortunately, I live in Utah and deal with them daily. They’re some of the fakest, dumbest, two faced idiots on the planet. I’ve witnessed so many Mormon families disown their own children over gender identity and homosexuality. Heartbreaking and disgusting.

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[–] StorminNorman@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, they're not fucking. Cos of the code.

[–] Poob@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Why the fuck would a gay person want to go to a Mormon university?

[–] tree@lemmy.zip 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The obvious answer being that you are far more likely to be closeted if you're Mormon and it might be the only school you got a scholarship (they give very generous scholarships at BYU) to or your parents will pay for you to go to, but probably many more reasons than that

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

A lot of people don't know they're gay until college.

[–] lars@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They would not.

Lots of people whose parents are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (which had a shorter nickname until 2018, but even a church that self-identifies as the Universe’s one true church should not be deadnamed after transitioning) teach their children to:

  1. go proselytize, door-to-door, for two years after high school, during which, they must
  2. spend all that time being never alone, with a person of the same sex as they were assigned at birth, and they must
  3. never masturbate, and then
  4. come home and go [back] to BYU, but also
  5. begin having children with a spouse as soon as possible, all the while,
  6. being at the age of their highest libido ever and surrounded by people, each in their physical prime, and then most importantly, they must
  7. not discover, realize, or admit they might not be straight. It is forbidden. Like fruit of the tree of knowledge. For to do so would mean they must never ever have sex, or alternatively, that they must marry a person to whom they are not attracted, and then be encouraged to procreate with that person anyway.

THIS IS WHAT MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS ARE ACTUALLY TOLD TO BELIEVE

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[–] gornar@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

"Don't worry, there's no romance, we're just fucking!"

[–] amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyz 34 points 1 year ago

A University named after a disgusting, abhorrently racist and radical man makes derogatory decision.

[–] S_204@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

NCAA should ban them from all competitions. This is straight up bigotry.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (5 children)

School should not be religious. Period. Ever.

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[–] Immersive_Matthew@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

IMO, you cannot be Higher Education if you behave this way. I feel for those attending this University as now they are no longer coming from an esteemed place.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

The worst thing about BYU to me (other than this sort of social bullshit) is that they have a really good archaeology program and the only reason it's so good is so they can 'prove' Joseph Smith's moronic history of the Americas was correct.

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[–] theodewere@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

did they ban crossing of all swords or explicitly the meaty kind.. i mean what if it's just a little cock fighting to establish dominance.. i understand their hatred of affection, that's a given..

[–] art@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Just turn it off, like a light switch.
Just go click!
It's a cool little Mormon trick!"

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