this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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https://xcancel.com/marcelvanhattem/status/1829729347873227190

does this dork know how funny he is? 🀣

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[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 66 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My dignity is worth much more than that

no, you're posting on twitter

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

All that bootlicking and the bootlicker is calling it tweeting instead of "le epic X" i-cant

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I noticed today shortlinks from x.com still redirect to t.co.etcera teehee, what fun

elon of youre reading this, I hope youre enjoying this jaunt, such a shame if it didnt work out! Let that sink in!

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

When the most divorced dad in the world's extended midlife crisis tries, in vain, to make everyone agree with how epic Xtreme Everything was in the 90s.

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hello, it's not Le epic x. It's call xhitting πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Did my-hero ever specify what tweeting was supposed to be called after Le Epic X rebranding? Serious question.

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

according to google they're just called posts now

WAoW

Many innovation sir

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

"Tweeting" was like saying "xerox" for an action being associated with a brand. Attempting to unravel that is incredible self-sabotage for a company.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

"I am posting on Le Epic X, the Everything App and Bastion of Radical Free Speech (don't say 'cis!')" berdly-smug

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought he was the one calling them xhits?

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

Xitter Xhitter. kelly

[–] DanComrd@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I xhat myself from laughing 🀣🀣🀣

[–] roux@hexbear.net 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You use the VPN to access Shitter. I use the VPN to steal movies from Paramount. We are not the same.

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I was gonna say dont post anything you wouldn't want read back in court but actually i think thatd be funny

the prosecution having to explain your joke to some 70 zombie but roux was not joking, your honour

😱

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Me, in internet court, hearing my crimes getting read out loud:

troll phoenix-sweat edgeworth-smug morshupls speech-side-l-1 rebus-1rebus-2

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I really hope I get done for defamation one day 😈

[–] roux@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

"Mr. Roux, do you have anything to add before you are sentenced?"

"Yes, piracy is praxis, your honour. Oh, also pigpoop"

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I hope someone reports him so he gets send to the lulag

[–] Nationalgoatism@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

God I love hexbear for it's truly unhinged memes

[–] DanComrd@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

That's a Slammerβ„’ classic

[–] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I will pay untold amounts to bootlicker

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

InB4 twitter superBLUpremium, R$50000 a post, your lord and master is guaranteed to "like" it (shares cost extra, unless youre promoting a Holocaust denier)

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Tweeting $10,000

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I'll keep drinking that garbage" energy lol

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[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 29 points 2 months ago

No, we will continue to eat the Nazi burgerslop! Save us, my-hero

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Blue eyed white guy named van hattem: por favor senhor muske, my country brasil yearns for freedom (nazi posts)

[–] hypercracker@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this guy's family crypt is lined with ten centimeters of lead and still hitler-detector goes fucking wild

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

AvΓ΄ Van Hattem

[–] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good impression of Alexandre!

I was reading about OJ simpsons murder trial and got side tracked, this was shared by Caitlyn Jenner it was the first thing I saw. I dont have an account, I was just checkin' in on my enemies.

It's not as if we can escape this fucking circus at the moment anyway, I'd take this shit over peoples hot takes on trans women in sports any day.

[–] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 2 months ago

I just meant the people that are on twitter complaining about twitter. Those people annoy the heck outta me. Just stop using it

[–] roux@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

You know what? I'm gonna use Twitter even harder.

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[–] KimJongGoku@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

libertarian-approaching Elon raising the prices for blue checks after reading his bootlickers are willing to spend 10,000 USD to be embarrassing on the Internet

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago

I will keep posting on twitter to keep my dignity as a truly free and representative native son of Brazil, or my name isn't Matthias von Totenkopf-SonderkommadoSS.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Protesting over a foreign social media site? Lmao Brazilians have many talented software engineers, I'm sure they can either move to the fediverse or make their own cool twitter clone. These dumb fascists are so married to their treats, they can't live without them, so they have to riot in response to them being taken away

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What does Le Epic X Dot Com have left to offer besides infinite The_Dunk_Tank material?

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What does Le Epic X Dot Com have left to offer besides infinite The_Dunk_Tank material?

very-smart from my analysis, it has only dunk material left

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

That's okay, I'll still keep screenshotting that garbage! a-little-trolling

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dredge is the only path forward for twitter

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Drej is the only path forward for Twitter.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I will DIE for my right to be racist on the racist X site.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

berdly-actually even the bootlicker called it "tweeting."

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

He's going to what? Tweeting? What's that, I'm over here Xing baybey

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I'd love for them to fund some social service Elon hates entirely with fees collected from people addicted to tweeting

[–] miz@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

:tiniest-violin:

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

"Dignity is worth more than that" he says on a 4klan wannabe site. Doesn't even call it X cat-confused

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Get out of Brazil, please

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