This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Ex-gf was an amateur actress, long red hair, pale skin, grey eyes. Sitting at the back patio bar one night and she breaks out a Scottish accent with this group, pretending she's just got here and is visiting. Guys are eating this up, everyone asking her questions. Good god this went on for a couple of hours and not a soul suspected. I sat there in awe, kept my trap shut.
I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said "he just moved here from Germany," not realizing that it wasn't clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.
We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice "Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out," and left.
Over a decade ago now, when Tennant was still The Doctor, (I think during the airing of either the 1st or 2nd season with him), I managed to learn a fairly close approximation of his English accent and verbiage from a few online friends I had at the time (I am American with a PNW accent).
Halloween was coming up. I managed to find a blue pinstripe suit at a thrift store. Told all my friends who were hosting a Halloween party to just pretend I was an exchange student.
It actually worked, I was able to convince everyone who wasn't in on it that I actually was English.
Sadly, practically no one knew of Doctor Who.
I remember multiple times saying 'why I'm the Doctor' as a response to 'What's your costume?'
This was then followed by 'Doctor... Who?' to which I would reply 'Precisely' or 'Yes, you've got it'.
To which they would make a confused face and I would then suggest drinks, as one of my multiple hearts broke and died each time someone had only the vague notion that I was some strange Englishman, out of place, perhaps even out of time.
This is how Scotland and Wales started in the first place.
aren't they all vikings and pirates?
No, they're just drunker than normal English who hate the English.
me pretending to be scottish: hmmhmh.
my american relatives: you're scottish, dumbass.
Yar
I met a girl at music clinic who spoke with an ~~British~~ English accent. we became friends over the course of the clinic and one of the last couple days she let me know it was fake. hilarious.
the British accent
Hold back, lads! He doesn't know what he's saying!
You know. The accent all English, Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish speak with. That one.
Through the glory of the former empire, most English accents are technically British.
Thank you lol
I had a temp job in 2006 where I'd have to reply to e-mails for a car insurance company, and it was so mind-numbing I'd be typing out the templates instead of copy-pasting just to pass the time. At a given point I decided to start signing all my e-mails with fake names beginning with R, so Roger, Robbie, Reg... I think I'd flown too close to the sun when the manager stood up and called out, "and who the fuck is Ruddiger?"
I give people fake job titles. Someone on my team handles our AV stuff, including posting to YouTube.
Last week I referred to them as our YouTube Commandant.
Human creativity always finds a conduit, eh.
Nicht so tief Rüdiger.
I wonder if he's levelled out now that he's finally old enough to drink?
I want to know if that manager is still on heroin.
The manager cleaned up within a week, quit, became a day trader and is now a multimillionaire.
Meanwhile, anon has long since forgotten what his native accent was and still loves working at Hardee’s.
Having listened to hundreds of audiobooks by professional voice actors from the States, each of which, if attempting a Scottish accent, had sounded like a Geordie shat out a leprechaun with a speech impediment that grew up on Bondi Beach, I would hate to hear this accent
I'm not American and I have Scottish friends and visited many times, but still if I ever do the accent it's because I'm taking the piss, there's no way I can do it even 10% accurate.
I used to work as a relay operator and I couldn't help myself from taking on the same accent as the voice side if they had a heavy accent.
Oof I still do this when I talk to someone subconsciously and had to remind myself not to do this.
I'm trying to figure out what a relay operator does.
Edit: ok, I guess you probably mean a telephone operator.
Relay is a service for the deaf and hard of hearing to make telephone calls to non-deaf people with their TTY through an operator that reads the text sent by one party to the other, and then types back what the voice party is saying to the TTY user.
in college my buddy chatted up a pretty young woman at a bar with a fake british accent. got her number. convinced her he was from england. afterwards he was like, "i really like her but I think i fucked up." i told him to just call her and fess up, but i think he panicked. no shame.
I enjoyed it until the last line killed it for me.