Flip it back and forth as fast as you can and see if you can get it to jack knife
this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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Cause a trolley problem
It rolls, kills all 6 tied up people, and everyone onboard.
JACK KNIFE THAT TROLLEY!!!
sorry for yelling
"Did you just yell 'America!' when you pulled the lever?"
".....no...." slowly pushes cheese burger and shotgun under the rug
I was waiting for someone to post this version.
Here's a real-life version: https://youtu.be/bO-vVzDRHYQ
Damn, i believe you. How long did you wait, 20 years?
Well... if you put it that way, pulling the lever at least gives me something to do in the meantime.
Does excessive pulling make one blind?
Depends on what you mean by "blind"?
One must imagine niktemadur happy.
I get to flip a switch and have the trolley take the tiny detour I've caused it. Fuck being a tiny, insignificant blip in the endless context of time. I got to pull a god damn lever and make a trolley follows a tiny bump that I've caused. I get to ride that joy!
Oops, went a little off the rails about it, though…
no affect
Blocked, deleted, reported
Crushed, shaken, stirred
The bond's Name. James Name
It's like that light switch on my wall that does nothing. But I flip it every time I walk past.
Except a year after I moved in, I got a letter from some woman in Germany that said "knock it off."
Button X - Turns on Mrs. Schultz's porch light in Germany. So quit pressing it!
- Earthworm Jim instruction booklet
Reference, or coincidence?
Steven Wright. But I probably messed up the quote.
Looks like he said she was in Madagascar originally. So, coincidence!
Yes. Because it'll make the clang-clang noise when it goes by me.
*effect
I do. With verve!
Fuck yeah, LETS GOOOOOOOO
See, if you pull the lever halfway, you have a chance to derail the trolley. No one ever mentions that.
TOKYO DRIFT IT BABY
If you pull the lever the train takes slightly longer, annoying the people inside.
Pull lever to wave to trolley
Trick question, I throw myself in front of the trolley
Nah, that would take, like, effort, man.
No, I kidnap some people and tie them to the railroad tracks
I mean I would have fun sending it on a little detour, but I worry that if the switch is no properly set at the point where the rails merge back into 1, the trolley might derail. The drawing of that point looks like a mess, too.
Very succinct. Though a little outdated in our post-qanon world.
Turn it into a story about the time you got the opportunity to flip a trolley track switch.
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