this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And does it have to be my femur?

[–] ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nope! It's doesn't even have to be human.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

brb i have a haul to take from my nearest butcher shop

the bone fairy will be pleased and my bedsheets will smell of rotting flesh

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Cash, cash, cash for your bones! Too many bones? Not enough cash? Call Cash Bone! Ribs, skulls, spines, even certain tiny ear bones. The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My brother once slept in with his head under his pillow. He got much for his skull but at what cost...

[–] Jimbo@yiffit.net 7 points 2 months ago

Now we call him totally headless nick

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Mom got angry when I kept putting chicken bones under my pillow each night. "Don't incur the wrath of the bone fairy!" she warned!

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

In my experience, the answer to this is nearly always "everyone involved in the situation, except for you."

I'm sure there's easier ways to pick up Eldritch blast.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Hostile bone fairy? You mean the Moopsy

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A femur? That depends, is it your femur? Or is it a femur you acquired?

In the former, you may be eligible for a lifetime of less-than-poverty wages, for free from a thing called "dys ahh bill eee tee"...

If it's the latter, you can get an all expenses paid trip to the local penetentary! Where you will be given free food, clothing and shelter, possibly for years!

Either way, you may not have to work, ever again... Or maybe you just won't be able to! Who knows!

[–] notthebees@reddthat.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But what if it's not a human femur. Like say a goat femur.

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

We're going to need a pricing table here for that. Let me ask Haskill for that.

[–] ScruffyDucky@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

A femur bucks than for a tooth

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If the bone fairy gave you money for your bones, it's not more than what the tooth fairy gives for teeth otherwise we'd have a totally different tradition going on.

[–] colderr@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, bones are quite a lot bigger compared to teeth so, it's a possibility that you could get more money from a bone fairy.

[–] lath@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Seeing how bone fairies are more hostile, the bones you place under your pillow will likely end up as protection fees.

Miss a payment and lose a bone.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I didn't realize fairies worked like the American healthcare system, with mouth bones being a super special exception from the rest of the bones

[–] federalreverse@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Eh, tooth fairies are totally unheard of in quite a few countries, but dental school is regarded as medical special ed pretty much worldwide.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In America's case they are generally considered healthcare professionals but insurance insists they are covered separately.

[–] kurwa@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

It's the same thing in Canada as well unfortunately.

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

One bag of freshly plucked eyeballs from the eyeball fairy.

The eyeball fairy leaves you with 1 lb of spleen's.

They all trade parts to leave you with something. You don't want to know what the pound of flesh fairy leaves...

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

I would watch this Doctor Who episode

[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 months ago

Moopsy agrees.

[–] Dufurson@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Personaly, I prefer the boner fairy

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Wait till you put it under your couch cushion ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] DeltaWingDragon@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 1 month ago

You have discovered the true identity of the sofa king

[–] ReynT1me@lemmy.one 3 points 2 months ago

The tooth fairies in Pathfinder pull out tiny pliers and take your teeth by force, can't wait to throw them at my group

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Those fairies live in the same universe where the skeletons came at night and the bones are their money and so are the worms?

[–] Binette@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

In Quebec, we had a legend that is thought to be related to "The Bone setter". It's a guy that would crack back your bones or something, and their patients would scream, so people were rightfully scared.

Parents would basically say to their child that if they misbehave, they would call the bone setter.

[–] rkw_social@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

Probably makes them fear chiropractors as well. So... ... Win win

[–] UnbalancedFox@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

Québec? Username checks out. 😅😂

[–] Nayfun@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You shut your whore mouth!

.... You'll spoil the joke! C'mon man.

[–] Lifter@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Username checks out though

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

Indeed it does. I noticed that immediately after I posted my comment.

Oh well.

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

About tree fiddy.

Side question: how much do kids get for teeth these days? Has inflation hit the tooth fairy game yet?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Be careful not to "accidentally" (??) break the femur or the magic fairy will be a bit different.