this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
100 points (100.0% liked)

news

23554 readers
39 users here now

Welcome to c/news! Please read the Hexbear Code of Conduct and remember... we're all comrades here.

Rules:

-- PLEASE KEEP POST TITLES INFORMATIVE --

-- Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed. --

-- All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. --

-- If you are citing a twitter post as news please include not just the twitter.com in your links but also nitter.net (or another Nitter instance). There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/libredirect/ or archive them as you would any other reactionary source using e.g. https://archive.today/ . Twitter screenshots still need to be sourced or they will be removed --

-- Mass tagging comm moderators across multiple posts like a broken markov chain bot will result in a comm ban--

-- Repeated consecutive posting of reactionary sources, fake news, misleading / outdated news, false alarms over ghoul deaths, and/or shitposts will result in a comm ban.--

-- Neglecting to use content warnings or NSFW when dealing with disturbing content will be removed until in compliance. Users who are consecutively reported due to failing to use content warnings or NSFW tags when commenting on or posting disturbing content will result in the user being banned. --

-- Using April 1st as an excuse to post fake headlines, like the resurrection of Kissinger while he is still fortunately dead, will result in the poster being thrown in the gamer gulag and be sentenced to play and beat trashy mobile games like 'Raid: Shadow Legends' in order to be rehabilitated back into general society. --

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
all 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 43 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Funniest for RFK would be secretary for wildlife and fisheries

[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If the stars align he could make RFK head of the CIA. That would be hilarious, imagine putting a literally brain wormed Kennedy in charge of the organization that killed JFK. He might actually release some info if they don’t kill him first.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 32 points 2 months ago

"Sir, RFK has been found with 3 gun shot wounds to the back of the head."

"Haha Havana syndrome just does that sometimes."

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

The Worm wants Health and Human Services so it can undermine the FDA, and let everyone eat tasty tasty roadkill.

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He'll run on a platform of GRAVITY IS DESIRE and TIME IS SIGHT

[–] RomCom1989@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

WHAT WAS SHALL BE WHAT SHALL BE WAS

[–] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

If he’s getting HHS, I’m voting for Kamala

If he’s getting CIA, I’m voting Trump

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Absolute joke of a country

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 25 points 2 months ago

Get me out this crazy ass timeline screm-a

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I tried to do a RFK impression in the shower the other day and I realized something about how he talks. He sounds like his throat is made out of corn husks and old newspapers.

I'm pretty sure he's actually dead. He's like a zombie or something. Or maybe a Death Becomes Her scenario.

[–] shath@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

weekend at bernies but it's a bunch of evil raccoons

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure he's actually dead.

this is what I believe too

have you ever seen "Howard the Duck"? he talks like Dr Jennings after he gets taken over (cw: mid-80s humor)

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

have you ever seen "Howard the Duck"? he talks like Dr Jennings after he gets taken over (cw: mid-80s humor)

Pure kino. chefs-kiss

Hacks like Spielberg or Scorsese wouldn't dare to film scenes this bold, even now, 40 years later!

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Mild mustard

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I'm pretty sure he's actually dead. He's like a zombie or something.

Q was right all along!

[–] Diablosmacc@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

He sounds like he perpetually needs to clear his throat

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure he's just a flesh bag pulled taut around 200 pounds of centipedes

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Shouldn't Musk technically be ineligible for any cabinet position? They all have to be constitutionally allowed to become president hypothetically if there was an event (nuke) that killed everyone above them on the presidential line of succession list, right? Musk wasn't born in the US and shouldn't be eligible.

lathe-of-heaven

Birtherism comes back, but as a left/liberal "fuck Elon in particular" hall monitor way that's technically correct but SCOTUS makes up some bullshit that says he's allowed to be Secretary of Deregulation or whatever

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

I think it just skips them in the line of succession.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago

Shouldn't Musk technically be ineligible for any cabinet position? They all have to be constitutionally allowed to become president hypothetically if there was an event () that killed everyone above them on the presidential line of succession list, right? Musk wasn't born in the US and shouldn't be eligible.

Tomorrow's news:

"In a 6-3 decision by the Supreme Court..." morshupls

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

Have you considered how joyous a Trump administration would be when you could frequently hear me giving speeches?

[–] Brickardo@feddit.nl 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As a non American: RFK = Rum Fitzgerald Kennedy?

[–] doubtingtammy@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

Ronald Fitzdonald Kennedy, actually

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

RFK was guaranteed to siphon votes from Trump. Looks like Trump is getting serious.

[–] FungiDebord@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Dems need to promise him an EPA chair or something in exchange for staying in the race, tbqh.

[–] Diablosmacc@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

Very sad loser energy from the republicans. Trump doesn’t have his heart in the game anymore he’s throwing

[–] miz@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Secretary of Cringe

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

All the reactionary grifter turds clumping together is kind of neat. Convenient in a way; they are cross-contaminating each other with so much creepy clownfuckery.

[–] sweatersocialist@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

rfk jr sounds like that wavy voice filter on tiktok and elon musk is a drug addicted pedophile lol

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

I hate facebook meme politics! I hate facebook meme politics!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Secretary of Bazinga

[–] D61@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Wow... just accepting defeat is he?

Maybe almost getting he dome emptied actually had an effect on his desire to be president again?

[–] LeninsBeard@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

Trump promised him he could be the ambassador to Slovenia