this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
754 points (99.1% liked)

Curated Tumblr

3894 readers
796 users here now

For preserving the least toxic and most culturally relevant Tumblr heritage posts.

Image descriptions and plain text captions of written content are expected of all screenshots. Here are some image text extractors (I looked these up quick and will gladly take FOSS recommendations):

-web

-iOS

-android

Please begin copied raw text posts (lacking a screenshot that makes it apparent it is from Tumblr) with:

# This has been reposted here to Lemmy as part of the "Curated Tumblr Project."

I made the icon using multiple creative commons svg resources, the banner is this.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Philharmonic3@lemmy.world 139 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] PlantDadManGuy@lemmy.world 110 points 3 months ago (1 children)

More like a broth-el πŸ₯Έ

[–] Poppa_Mo@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fuck off lmao. I love these but feel like such an idiot when I laugh at them.

[–] Thomrade@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

Me too. I laughed like a maniac at it and then felt bad I had no one to share the joke with.

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 90 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A man that has his own place and can cook? Hell I'd be eating there in no time.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 73 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a dude with his own place who cooks almost every day and generally has some leftover homemade barbecue, it definitely works. I just don't want people over at my house.

[–] Pingudiem@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a German dude, 6 bottles of Bavarian beer should count as an invitation to a fine pal auch as you. Do we have a deal xD

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a drunk, that sounds like a great deal. If you want barbecue you'll have to wait for the weather to clear up. If you don't mind slow cooker pulled pork, I plan on using the leftovers from yesterday to make carnitas tacos with onions, cilantro, and homemade avocado salsa this evening before I go get sloppy drunk at open mic night.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Full disclosure: I did something different. Instead of onions and cilantro with an avocado salsa I made pico, added avocado chunks, and plopped that on top of my crisped up pulled pork with extra spices.

But the German with beer didn't drop by so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm very sad now.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 84 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (6 children)

He's not wrong. I've brought women home many times by cooking for them. Guys, learn a few easy recipes and you won't regret it. My go to is chicken and broccoli alfredo or carbonara fettuccine.

[–] NewNewAccount@lemmy.world 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nothing sexier than a belly full of cream and cheese.

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My favorite go to recipe is a lentil soup with spinach, lime, coconut milk, and curry. It's really refreshing, especially after a hard day of carrying bridges across the Shattered Plains.

[–] vladmech@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Always a risk that airsick lowlanders may not like it though

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago

That sounds delicious, and healthy!

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Found Benjamin Sisko's account.

But yeah, even simple cooking is great.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Found Benjamin Sisko’s account.

[–] techt@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Crock pot stew is barely any effort too

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 3 months ago

Yet they taste so good on a winter day

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

When I was dating that was basically my go-to reason for inviting someone over, but that usually was at least 3-5 dates in. Usually we'd have eaten at cool restaurants where we've had full blown conversations about food, and where I'll have introduced the idea that I'm a great cook who knows what I'm doing, and then at a certain point I'd offer my place for a dinner date, and then show off. And we'd already be alone at my place so it wasn't that much of a stretch for them to stay over.

Honestly I don't know how I would've approached dating if I didn't know how to cook.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I tried that once. She ate my Thai curry, made polite conversation, and left.
Still a nice evening, though.

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 months ago

Maybe she hates curry

[–] Pronell@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Try roasting the broccoli first, assuming you don't already.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Good suggestion. I usually steam them since I like the florets still crunchy. I'll try roasting next time!

[–] Pronell@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

It brings out a whole new world of flavor. Truly surprising. Just toss with a little olive oil and bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes or so.

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 80 points 3 months ago (2 children)

A girl once asked my friend and I if she could make us an omelette. We'd never met her before, but said yeah why not. We went back to our flat, like 1AM, she made us an omelette and then left. Never saw her again. Bizarre. Good omelette though.

You've been visited by the Omelette du Goblin. Pay tribute with a Dexter's Lab short or be visited one again.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 8 points 3 months ago

When someone offers to make you an omelette, you can expect a reasonably good omelette

[–] 9tr6gyp3@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago

By the way, my name is Stu

[–] superkret@feddit.org 32 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Then you follow him home, the door opens and another guy shakes your hand and says "Hi, I'm Stu."

[–] callyral@pawb.social 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

violent story, cannibalism, gunshot, satire, fbi agentIt turns out that "this dude" is a serial killer and cannibal.

Stu, who has been his roommate for the past month, and Angela, who may soon be dead, are both terrified upon realizing this.

The man-eater locks the door, trapping them.

β€” Well, well, well... look at what we have here! Fresh meat. β€” he says, menacingly.

Little did the man know that Stu was actually an FBI agent sent to investigate cannibals. Sounds of gunshot are heard from the cannibal's home. Stu saves the day yet again. The end. And everyone clapped, menacingly.

[–] AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

this comment felt like i got punched in the chest

[–] callyral@pawb.social 1 points 3 months ago
[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

Used to be a cook and I can't tell you how often "going out is expensive, I could cook you something better" used to work in my youth

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

"it worked on me too" - OP is slightly ambiguous about how the story ends.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hands off my stew, harlot!

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Hands off my harlot, Stu!

[–] frezik@midwest.social 13 points 3 months ago

You may fascinate a woman with a bowl of stew.

[–] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago