this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
100 points (94.6% liked)
Asklemmy
43907 readers
1170 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Horniness mismatch. You'll never synch up exactly, but if you aren't at least in the same ballpark, everyone just comes away frustrated.
that's not trivial that's really important
That's what polamory is for! I would hate to miss out on an emotionally meaningful relationship just because pp goes hard to often or pp not go hard often enough.
Never tried myself, but I've two sets of pals that are in poly relationships. The best advice they gave my curious mind on the topic is "If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no." I'm still curious about trying some time, but it's certainly not a "hell yes" for me.
Hmm yes that might be good advice. There is definitely a lot of work to be done on oneself if someone has only been in mono relationships.
A very common phrase is polyam circles. I'd recommend reading literature by and for polyamorous people if you still find yourself curious, but hesitant. Thorntree Press has a good selection of books to choose from. Also, seek out polyamory groups in your area. There are FB polyamory groups in just about every major city that usually aren't too hard to search for, and those groups will often have a monthly munch which would afford you the opportunity to ask questions of a variety of people who live that relationship style.