this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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[โ€“] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That bolded bit reminds me of my life lately. Tons of scary stories and "not sugar coating" things just made me wake up several nights having some kinda panic attacks. Somecritter finally said something that made me feel like I wasn't just thrown a map and told to find a life in it, like I had someone who was going to help me make sure my life's not over now... and I suddenly was significantly more able to act for days. Nothing even came of it, I just got a little bit of hope instead of only more crap to worry about, or more crap to dig through, or more things I need to do but can't. Can't really overcome hopelessness by piling misery atop it.

Turns out an ounce of hope beats a ton of despair, at least for getting me moving. Maybe that Peter critter has some points ๐Ÿ˜…

I feel this, and I agree, but I also feel it from both sides. Maybe it's where I live, but I feel the "come on bro, don't worry about anything at all, everything is fiiiiiine the way it is" just as much as I feel the doomposting and rigidity, and they both can drag me down in separate ways.

And moreover I see myself coming here and being so rigid too, and on one hand -- it's true one can't just let certain groups hijack a movement -- but on the other hand, it's hard to know the line between that happening vs. people legitimately learning and growing, and any attempt to establish some kind of set principle about it would be just exacerbating the problem. I'm constantly second guessing myself, especially when it comes to how I'm interacting with others and if I'm actually contributing or detracting. Am I being dogmatic? Am I allowing people to grow and supporting them, or do I push people away? I've certainly witnessed the hostility to "difference, curiosity, openness, and experimentation" -- seen people who are clearly trying to help be pushed aside because maybe they're not NT or maybe they don't have all the right words for things yet, but it's hard to talk about this at all because people might think I'm talking about "woke" but this is -- and I can't stress this enough -- not that. And I'm talking online as well as in "real life" (as if there's a difference -- we're still people).

I normally read chapters before bed, but I couldn't get past that section I posted, and I woke up still thinking about it.