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Just import some Italian-Americans! They're just like Italians except more obnoxious!
Lol, there's a chain of "Italian American" themed restaurants here in the UK called Frankie and Benny's.
There's pictures of some fake family on the walls doing stereotypical things like boxing and eating spaghetti and there's a loop of basic Italian lessons always playing in the toilets. The foods pretty good though as far as chain restaurants go.
I must go to this place