this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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My good friend at work is dating a guy that is also a coworker and at first I thought this guy was pretty cool.

As it turns out, he’s batshit insane and a horrible human being.

It has come to my attention recently that he had been spreading rumors and information about me and sexual identity (Bi), outing me in order to manipulate the work place into being “against me”. Including outing me to close work friends of mine that I was keeping that part of my life private from out of fear of losing their friendship.

I have already gone through HR, and that employee is currently being investigated, but the more I find out, the worse it gets.

This guy has been threatened by my friendship with his girlfriend, my close friend who I have known longer than him, and without either of our knowledge, he installed a spy app on her phone which gave him access to every text, snap, instagram, Facebook, phone calls, and even what she does online. I know this because she came to me saying her phone was acting up, and me being ex-IT, found the app he installed on her phone.

Recently I just heard from another coworker that he has been telling people of my gay sexual relationships which I do not recall ever telling him. He has also told coworkers about things I have texted her verbatim, so I am starting to think that he may have possibly gathered information about my sex life through text messages to her, without either of us knowing he could read them, and has been telling my other work colleagues.

I know this guy isn’t coming back to the work place, but I feel so crossed that I'm not sure even that’s enough. I want to know if, because he obtained that information illegally, I could file a lawsuit against him as well.

I have felt so violated all this week because of this guy, someone who I thought I was friends with and even defended at times, stabbed me in the back and did this horrible thing to me.

Obviously this is lemmy and I don’t expect there to be any lawyers here, but do you think I may have a case?

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[–] Candelestine@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago (19 children)

Can you demonstrate a sound reasoning for having suffered damages in a quantifiable, monetary way? This isn't always strictly necessary, but it sure is helpful. Hurt feelings are great and all, but they generally aren't worth monetary compensation on their own.

This also, of course, depends on the local laws wherever you live, and can vary considerably.

[–] drewisawesome14@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (18 children)

I don’t really want money or compensation, I just want to make him regret everything he’s been doing to not only me, but also his girlfriend. I know that may sound immature, or silly, but it’s personal for me now. But I understand if I can’t sue for monetary reasons. I just can’t live with letting someone using personal information that I shared with someone else as a weapon against me. Especially something I try to keep private.

[–] forgotten_xennial@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I believe the person commenting is trying to establish if you have “standing” by the legal definition. If no harm/damages or potential harm/damages can be proven, most judges will not hear a case per lack of standing.

[–] stardust@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unless, of course, you're the state of Missouri suing the white house

[–] badtooth@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

In which case the laws no longer apply. Thanks Supreme Court!

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