3
Parenting a Neurodivergent child
(beehaw.org)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
3 points (100.0% liked)
Neurodivergence
3238 readers
3 users here now
All things neurodivergent and relating to the broader neurodivergent community (and communities).
See also this community's sister subs Feminism, LGBTQ+, Disability, and POC
This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'm the father of a son with Asperger's/High Functioning Autism. (He was diagnosed just before Asperger's was folded into Autism in general.) As I was reading up on Autism to see what my son was going through, I realized something weird. All these books on Autism were talking about me.
Now, once always known I was different, but I chalked this up to "stunted social growth due to excessive bullying in high school." Of course, this didn't explain why I did some things into my mid-30's.
I came to the realization that I'm Autistic. It was a tough realization to come to. My entire sense of self felt like it was destroyed. Everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong and I needed to rebuild my sense of self from scratch. Once I got over the shock, though, everything about my life made a lot more sense.
I never got a diagnosis, though, for various reasons. It would cost money when money was tight. It wouldn't have helped my son and I also had (unknowingly) developed coping mechanisms. So I'm undiagnosed, but 100% positive that I'm ND.
@TechyDad @neamhsplach I hear many stories of parents discovering their own #neurodivergence through trying to protect, help, and advocate for their children’s (or other family member’s) needs. You are not alone. @actuallyautistic @audhd @Adhdinos #actuallyautistic #autism
@TechyDad
It's profound, realising that you're autistic .
I wonder why some of us find it so traumatic, and others so liberating?
Maybe it's to do with how it happens. For me, I came to this self discovery after struggling with severe mental health problems that didn't seem to have any explanation.
Realising I'm autistic was an incredible release from self blame.
I think there's a unique journey for parents of autistic children, though. And not an easy one.
Be kind and patient with yourself.
@neamhsplach
@Zumbador @TechyDad @neamhsplach A lot of it may boil down to this:
Was #ActuallyAutistic a label chosen *by* you, as a result of accurate and compassionately-communicated information?
Or was it chosen *for* you, by people who were more interested in trying to “solve the problem” that is you, and are ultimately not motivated by acting for your own well-being?
(I spent most of my life in the second camp, and even on the best days, the term “autistic” is emotionally fraught for me.)
@dpnash
Very true. And definitely something late realised autistic people are often not aware of.
But I meant to ask a different question, which is why people in the first group (realising they're autistic vs having been diagnosed by someone else ) sometimes have such different experiences.
@TechyDad @neamhsplach
@Zumbador @dpnash @TechyDad @neamhsplach@beehaw. org
Perhaps it's as simple as, did you come to realise you were autistic because you were searching for an answer. And whilst autism might not be the one you wanted it is still a relief to have one. Or, was the realisation thrust upon you, perhaps by seeing yourself in your child. In which case you're having to deal with something unsought for.