this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
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Edit

I kinda made this post out of spite for the fact the most previous post in this community, whose title I quoted/copied, was getting so many downvotes... At the time I posted this, the previous post had about a 30% downvote rate, and it really, really made me mad.

I am relieved tho to see people in the comments here who have real, actual empathy for their fellow humans. Thank you for contributing here.

It blows my mind how normalized it is to hate on those who are struggling. Especially in 20fucking23 when so many of us now are on the verge of it ourselves. Let's be better, everyone - to everyone. I beg you.

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[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 96 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Everyone is ok with homeless in tents till they set up shop in your street

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone sets up a spot to sleep and keep their stuff close to your house, try talking to them like a person. I live in the City, so there are plenty of people I see all the time. Sometimes they ask for help, sometimes we just talk. I help when I can, but I also say no when I can’t. I stand outside and talk to some of the struggling people close to me for a while sometimes. They’re just people

[–] j_roby@slrpnk.net 15 points 1 year ago

We need more of this right here in the world. Thank you for being an empathetic and decent human.

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

The healthy homeless people struggling in my city get plenty of aid. The ones you find camping out are the ones who choose to be homeless, and the ones too mentally ill to seek help. But since we've become so sensitive, we just let them sleep outside instead of forcing them into programs. Until we accept that the mentally ill homeless who refuse aid need to be picked up and forced into it, things will never change.

[–] keeb420@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't mind the homeless through no fault of their own camping on my street. But I've seen plenty of drugged out mofos camping in front of or near my work I wouldn't want anywhere near my house or those of my neighbors who have kids. I'm talking about the mofos who take apart cars and bikes and whatever else and then just leave everything when they move on. The mofos with piles of garbage that attract rats bigger than cats.

[–] j_roby@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

See, this is part of the issue. Too many people recognize the problems, but as soon as any solutions to those problems inconvenience them, any empathy for those problems then goes right out the window....

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I remember this guy in my city set up fake signs for the opening of a new homeless shelter in one of the wealthier and more liberal neighbourhoods in the city, where the "provide for the homeless!" Crowd tend to live.

The neighborhood was up in arms at the idea of the shelter getting set up in THEIR neighborhood. There's a video about it around somewhere.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You know what's worse than living near the homeless? Being homeless. You're only a few paychecks away from homelessness yourself.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Maybe address that problem in a more direct way than letting tent cities be the solution? Here's a crazy idea: actually provide housing. Treat mental illness and substance abuse. Provide training and job assistance. Create an actual social safety net.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want both. I want to have housing-first approaches for the homeless, and I want homeless people to stop being harassed by police, government, and other people. If society has failed someone to the point of homelessness, they have a right to public spaces for survival.

[–] Whirlybird@aussie.zone 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I want homeless people to stop being harassed by police, government, and other people.

If they're harassing other people or making the place unsafe then they deserve to be harrassed by police, government, and other people.

If society has failed someone to the point of homelessness

"Society failing" someone isn't the only thing that causes homelessness. Much of the homeless population are there due to their own bad choices. They deserve help, but they weren't failed by society into homelessness.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A few paychecks?

Look at rockSlayer Moneybags over here

Jokes aside: I was homeless for 8 years, it really fucking sucked but I'd say that the worst part wasn't trying to stay warm when it was below freezing or trying to stay dry in the rain, it was being treated as less than human simply because I was worse off than other people.

Even after I got a job and started building my life back up, when people realized that I was homeless they would immediately become either cold or hostile

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's so fucked up how badly homeless people are treated in this country. I do what I can in my community, but it's about time I find my local mutual aid group to be real help. Glad you managed to get back on your feet! If you don't mind me asking, what was the situation and how did you build back?

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Bit of a long story here so I'll break it into 3 big parts really.

I won't be using names because of privacy reasons, and I'll be scant on some details for the same reason.

For timeframe the events here start basically in 2009. Specifics will also be fuzzy from this point, again due to privacy.

⚠️Trigger warnings will appear for each section but include: Drug and alcohol abuse, miscarriage, death, suicide.⚠️

How I became homeless (short version) (Trigger warning: Drug and physical abuse)

I ended becoming homeless at 16 primarily due to my abusive father's struggles with addiction (I won't go into more detail here but there's a lot there including him cooking meth and violence) and due to him we (him, my mom, my brother, my sister, and I) lost our home and became homeless.

In the lead to when we knew we were going to lose our home I asked around to see if I could stay with anyone until I got back on my feet. All my relatives said no (we'll come back to this later) and unfortunately none of my friends could let me stay for long.

I had a boyfriend and girlfriend at the time but the boyfriend's family (who didn't know we were dating) wouldn't let me stay for an unknown amount of time due to personal reasons. And the girlfriend's family wouldn't let a boy move in with them and their daughter.

When everything went down and we lost everything, all of my friend's families I had asked no longer would let me stay with them as word got out why we lost everything.

So I surfed benches, slept at my highschool, occasionally people would let me stay for a couple days (after the dust settled), and did a lot of "camping" in local parks. I also struggled to stay sober as at this point I had quit drinking only a couple months before I turned 16 (I started at 12).

Not so fun fact: This time span included my first experiences with police brutality, for sleeping on benchs. Getting woken up by a taser isn't fun.

My first plan for fixing my homelessness falling through (Trigger warning: Miscarriage, alcohol abuse, suicide, and death)

So this is a few years after everything went down. I was still dating the same boyfriend and girlfriend at this time. We had all come to the conclusion that we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We just all had to properly get our feet under us due to employment being pretty sparse even then locally and rent being really bloody high.

The boyfriend had eventually gotten a good paying job. But was still living with his parents.

The girlfriend was a full time student so working was really hard as well. She was also living

The girlfriend ended up getting pregnant (like 2013) and having a miscarriage (almost 5 months later) which we all took really poorly. Her especially as her parents were incredibly unsupportive.

She started doing bad enough in school there was talk about loosing her financial support.

Her parents then told her she had 30 days to move out as they had sold the house.

She killed herself 21 days later.

I was working at a bar at the time and I fell off the wagon and started drinking again. The boyfriend did as well.

He died a few days later after getting drunk and driving his car into a tree going way over the speed limit.

I fell apart and started drinking profusely.

The plan of living with them has fallen apart.

Eventually getting on my feet. (Trigger warning: abuse of the emotional kind, though I'm very light on details)

After a few months of being an emotional wreck due to the previous section, a relative of mine (my grandma, long story why I no longer consider her family) saw me holding a sign on the side of the road.

She asked if I had a job, I did.

She asked if I had a place to stay, I had a car by this point.

She asked me if I needed a better place to stay. I said yes.

I think the only reason she stopped was because one of her church friends was in the car with her. She's not typical nice, which will become more apparent.

After getting to her place is when she laid the ground rules. I was not allowed to come up to the house for anything other than an emergency.

I could not use her bathroom, her shower, her washer and dryer, her dishwasher, or her power.

I was not to be seen by her or her neighbors at all.

I was fine with this if it meant I could have a consistent place to park and an address I could put down on applications for better jobs.

Eventually though one of her neighbors saw me bathing in the creek behind my grandma's house and they walked over to talk to me.

Turns out grandma was telling everyone I was staying in her spare bedroom and not my car on the back of her property behind the barn.

The next day she, "Felt God's blessing that I could come up [to her house] to use some of the facilities in her home, if I asked first."

This continued for a couple years before I got a much better paying job and was able to get an apartment for myself after about 6 months of working the new job.

I also quit drinking a few years after that but that's a tale for another time.

TLDR: A relative (my grandma) let me eventually (after years of being homeless) stay in the back part of her large property (as long as I wasn't seen by her) and use her address for applications which allowed me to get a better job and back on my feet.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

In case no one in your family has said anything, I'm proud of you for coming back from all of that. Not many people are able to come back from that almost entirely by themselves.

[–] j_roby@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 year ago

After a bout of homelessness myself as a teenager, and then several years later working for a shelter, this is an all too common and tragic story...

[–] eskimofry@lemmy.one 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Speak for yourself. The owner class has long gaslighted everyone that greed and shit behavior is the default for humanity.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm not sure if I'm owner class since I live in a rented apartment but I dislike all the needles and feeling unsafe just going in and out of my apartment. Doubly so for my wife who gets harassed more than I do. So much so that she's afraid to go anywhere.

It just sucks. Dunno if it counts as shit behaviour but I wish they wouldn't camp there.