this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
227 points (91.9% liked)
Asklemmy
43907 readers
1174 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Absolutely not
Then why speak of it?
I donβt talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.
For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do
Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.
I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.
I never bring that up on dates.
This story made my panties wet.
Hopefully itβs not shit.
That's a surprising stance coming from SatansMaggotyCumFart
Okay, Gunt Rigger.
What an amecdote. Thank you for lightening my mind lol
That's a third date story
I get your point, but I think that's a bit of a false equivalence. You don't tell others of stuff like this likely because it's embarrassing, but what if someone isn't embarrassed of using sex services? Is it really the same thing then?
Why would I be embarrassed about that story?
I share it with my friends because itβs fucking hilarious.
I hope I never meet you or your friends.
Did this comment make your life any fuller or better in any way?
Does your existence do that for any other persons besides your accomplices?
Enjoy your existence, Iβll enjoy mine.
Have a nice day.
You have an over-sharing problem.
I can't agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.
Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.
Iβve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.
Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.
It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?
The fact that you need to "disclose" this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it
OP's out there on first dates asking if they have a problem with him doing it...
I can't imagine women are bringing it up
Not necessarily first dates. I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up. I don't want to have it be a problem further down the line
It's just really hard to believe a women asks if you've had sex with a sex worker...
Most people don't ask for numbers, let alone details.
It has unfortunately come up before, hence my aprehension in approaching the topic.
Seems like you got the intended consequence. If you want to be honest and your partner can't handle that honesty, maybe it is better to keep looking. I have a very hard time maintaining lies to continue relationships, and as a result I have very few, but incredibly high-quality friends.
I've been asked that question, and not just one time, so I believe OP that it can sometimes come up.
Maybe because I've never lived somewhere it's legal?
Like if there were brothels in the area, maybe it would be asked more?
Perhaps. It's a legal grey area here, not strictly legal but tolerated in certain areas (red light districts), but it's certainly not a socially acceptable thing.
I ask my partners because I do not want to be with someone who pays for sex. Simply because our views on sex would be very different which leads to problems in the relationship, from my experience. Also, it would be quite dumb to lie on this because than we are both just wasting our time.