this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] teft@lemmy.world 156 points 2 days ago (5 children)

The dude gets weekly dick injections which he classifies as 9.5 out of 10 on a pain scale.

Weekly.

Dude is a fucking moron.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

I truly hope that these people start getting massive organ failure and shit because of all of this experimental garbage they put into their bodies.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I'm going to laugh when he dies of self inflicted dick infection.

[–] probably2high@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

It's like those showerthought ultimatums : You can choose to gain eternal life, but every day your dick is the subject of the worst pain you've ever felt.

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 80 points 2 days ago (4 children)

9.5 out of 10. In his dick.

Has anyone asked him why he wants to live forever if that's what it takes?

[–] DharkStare@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"You get to live forever but in exchange you have to get incredibly painful injections in your dick on a daily basis."

Sounds like a cursed genie wish.

[–] franklin@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

What's the quality of my life? Like 20s forever or do I still age?

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Absofuckinglutely not

[–] teft@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Right? Miss me with that dick pain immortality.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You sure, bro? You missing out.

grabs dick as another firey torrent surges through his body

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago

Probably because he knows he can't take his wealth with him in death.

What's the point of being pointlessly wealthy if you can't be pointlessly wealthy forever?

[–] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My guess is he wants to live forever because he feels he has made no contribution to the world, or does not feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose from raising his family. Maybe he feels cracking the secret could be his contribution, or maybe he thinks he can find meaning in his life, given enough time.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bFnZsvh6pw posits that it's because he was raised believing in eternal life through the church, and lost his faith but still wants eternal life.

[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

thanks for recommending this channel, seems right up my alley!

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 1 points 7 hours ago

Get it early on Nebula! https://nebula.tv/lilyalexandre

If you haven't tried Nebula, PM me, and I think I still have a guest pass for a free week.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Props for linking to that video; it's so good.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 2 points 1 day ago

I saw that video on Nebula and it was the first I'd heard of this dude, but I still found the video fascinating.

It sounds like the dude just has a CBT fetish and doesn't want to admit it.