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How do you make friends? (beehaw.org)

submitted 5 days ago by Alice@beehaw.org to c/AskUSA

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Genuinely can't figure out how other people develop active social lives. The most common advice I get is to look on Meetup, but I found pretty much one group and while I had fun, halfway through the event they started making fun of liberals for not having friends. I'm genderqueer so that ain't gonna work out. Everything else on Meetup is scientology garbage.

I go out and do things on my own and try to be open to people who approach me, but on the rare occasion someone wants to talk to me it's because they're horny and they've mistaken me for a straight woman. I can be out in the mud picking up litter and someone will strike up a conversation about the environment, something I'm interested in, and it turns out it's because they think I'm doing this to get the D.

I'm getting crazy bored. Does everyone just work a 9-5 and then go home alone? Except for when they have sex with the occasional random straight man??

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[–] Ulrich@feddit.org 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The most common advice I get is to look on Meetup, but I found pretty much one group and while I had fun, halfway through the event they started making fun of liberals for not having friends

Try again!

Does everyone just work a 9-5 and then go home alone?

Most people (not me) go home to their families and spend time with them. Or people they know from work. They're not out socializing and meeting random new people all the time.

Except for when they have sex with the occasional random straight man??

I think they only do this on TV.

If you want to share what city you live in, maybe someone can make some suggestions or take you out to their group? Ask them to introduce you to some of their friends.

[–] Alice@beehaw.org 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Try again!

I've been lurking on Meetup for multiple years just due to most groups not working with my work schedule. There really isn't much around here, most of it is either overtly religious or they bury the lede that it's about scientology. I'm totally open to trying new ways to meet people, but Meetup ain't the proper channel for me, I don't think.

Most people (not me) go home to their families and spend time with them. Or people they know from work. They're not out socializing and meeting random new people all the time.

That's fair. I never started a family, I'm not exactly good at finding companionship. And most of my coworkers are straight and have kids to go home to, so we don't really socialize outside of work.

If you want to share what city you live in, maybe someone can make some suggestions or take you out to their group? Ask them to introduce you to some of their friends.

I appreciate the suggestion but I think I'd basically be doxxing myself, lol. Not a very big place. 😭

[–] Ulrich@feddit.org 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Well what do you like to do?

Have you considered volunteering? Like, in an official capacity?

Also please consider sending a message to the admin of whatever that community was and let them know the members made you uncomfortable and you won't be returning.

I think it may take some time and some effort to find your "tribe".

[–] Alice@beehaw.org 1 points 4 days ago

Volunteering is a good suggestion! I looked into it a while back and every org I found wanted more hours minimum than I was able to give, but that was also for one specific cause in my hometown. I'm sure there are other things to do I haven't thought of yet.

Well what do you like to do?

Weight training, drawing, hiking, geocaching, outdoorsy stuff.