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How do you make friends? (beehaw.org)

submitted 5 days ago by Alice@beehaw.org to c/AskUSA

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Genuinely can't figure out how other people develop active social lives. The most common advice I get is to look on Meetup, but I found pretty much one group and while I had fun, halfway through the event they started making fun of liberals for not having friends. I'm genderqueer so that ain't gonna work out. Everything else on Meetup is scientology garbage.

I go out and do things on my own and try to be open to people who approach me, but on the rare occasion someone wants to talk to me it's because they're horny and they've mistaken me for a straight woman. I can be out in the mud picking up litter and someone will strike up a conversation about the environment, something I'm interested in, and it turns out it's because they think I'm doing this to get the D.

I'm getting crazy bored. Does everyone just work a 9-5 and then go home alone? Except for when they have sex with the occasional random straight man??

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[–] Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 5 days ago

Straight man with majourity woman friends here.

I haven't slept with any of them excepting my fiancée and your post has me introspecting. As long as I am in a monogamous relationship I won't sleep with them excepting my fiancée. Which is equivalent to saying I won't sleep with any of them, and don't want to sleep with any of them.

That said, hypothetically, there's not one I wouldn't engage in a physical relationship, were the only difference to be that I'm single. Though in that world I wouldn't be actively pursuing any of my friends so it still wouldn't happen.

I've been thinking about it. It's no secret that I'm one of the hornier ones of the group and that's always been true. So why are these women happy to be my friend? I'm clearly not giving off "vibes" despite my general filth... I dunno.

I don't really have advice for you. Society is kind of set up this way that looking for relationships, of any kinds, starts the same sort of way. "Go to places with common interest, meet people with common intrest" is the advice for friends, and romantic partners alike. My romantic relationship started by doing just that: a motorcycle meet.

My platonic friends though all are/were colleagues of myself/someone in the group. It started with house warmings, then dinner parties now meet regularly to go places and do things. New invitees to the group are welcome to the next thing we're doing.