traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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spoiler
You're all good, I appreciate itMy closest friend sent me a letter awhile into my bad brain exile and I think she'd be able to forgive me but reaching out and knowing what to say feels incredibly daunting
I've been mulling over sending her a package with a gift and a huge apologetic letter but every time I start thinking about what to write I get overwhelmed and start crying
spoiler
Its really hard to reach out, especially when you feel responsible for hurting someone by pulling away, or really any feelings stemming from "i am bad/did bad thing" though processes.
I think you should reach out to her! She maybe was worried about you. But be prepared to selfcrit and eat crow yk? Being up front honest and vulnerable with people is so hard. I find success in vocalizing my shit feelings like "hey, im pretty anxious right now so im going to hang back for a minute" or "hey this venue is really overwhelming for me, so im gonna step outside where its less so".
spoiler hopefully this isnt insulting or pretentious, but if you want some help writing that letter...
Heya name,
I know we havent spoken in a long time, and I wanted to reach out and apologize for pulling away like I did. I was in a really bad space and wasnt treating myself or others with the respect and care i should have. I really enjoyed our friendship, and if youd like to get together and grab a cup of coffee i would love to catch up. I hope youre doing well, and that life is treating you with care.
Love and hugs, (or sincerely, or whatever sign off youd prefer)
LocalOaf
If you want to, you could maybe include a short bit about wanting to own your shit, be a good friend, and show up in your social relationships in a way that you didnt back when you were pulling away and self-isolating.
spoiler
That's not insulting or pretentious at all, thank youI'm gonna make myself write something tomorrow. I already have a gift figured out that I think she'll like and have a container to ship it in that she gave me years ago.
::: spoiler spoiler
Im proud of you for reaching out! And im glad it wasnt insulting/pretentious ^^