throwaway

joined 2 months ago
[–] throwaway 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No one, including you, wants to date someone that doesn’t make them feel good and add to their lives in a positive and joyful way - in what world does ‘you’re hotter than me therefore I want you as a possession I can have sex with’ make someone feel any of those things?

What I meant was I don't make it obvious not because I want to make them feel unloved or something but to prevent making them feel uncomfortable. I talk and treat everyone like we're just friends (because for the most part we just are). If the woman from her end shows she's interested in me than I try and go along with it.

But I am here to learn, so could you then please tell me how do you properly flirt with someone then?

[–] throwaway 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have, I go to gym about three times a week.

[–] throwaway 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

just feels he should own one and probably wants regular sex (on his terms only)

I never, ever said nor implied this. English is not my first language, so maybe I didn't phrase it all that well. I rarely ever even flirt with women because I'm afraid it will make them uncomfortable. I, as any other person, seek companionship. I know it sounds shallow to put emphasis on looks. But no matter which way I shake it it is an important factor to me. Otherwise it just feels like another friendship to me. I can't change myself in that regard. And the results speak for themselves. So here I am seeking help to at least not feel bitter about it.

[–] throwaway 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I don't know what to tell you. I only blame myself for being this way. And every woman I meet has every right to refuse me. I do not deny that. I think my bitterness about my life is unfounded. Because it's all by virtue of my own choices. I do not want to feel this way. Not to gain favours from women but for myself. For that I ask help. That's it. Sorry you feel this way.

[–] throwaway 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think they mean to ask for honest feedback, it’s quite possible your lack of success is linked to the mindset you have.

Oh I see. That's actually not a bad idea. I'll try and ask them.

[–] throwaway 3 points 2 months ago

How about Stancels? We are celibate due to our standards?

[–] throwaway 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you considered that it’s the way you interact with whoever you’re interested in?

Are you nervous, self-conscious, whatever?

I honestly have never thought of it in great detail. But where would I be able to get feedback on this?

[–] throwaway -2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

I do not deny it's shallow. I am absolutely not savoury when it comes to that (though I do need her to also have similar interests). Be that as it may, I just don't develop any romantic feelings for them otherwise.

[–] throwaway 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

https://youtu.be/cClSiXBNGa8?si=qxyWva8kRn__oTVv

?si=qxyWva8kRn__oTVv

See this part of the link here? That's actually a tracker by Youtube. You can omid that to make the link more privacy friendly like so:

https://youtu.be/cClSiXBNGa8

Thanks for the recommendation by the way!

[–] throwaway 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

Do you think you are sort of batting out of your league looks-wise?

Yes, definitely.

is there anything else that makes you think you are not physically attractive?

My arms and legs are particularly skinny, like Ballerina level skinny.

May I ask how old you are?

I am 24 years old

You are outgoing and social, perhaps try practicing flirting?

I find flirting difficult. Because I never want to make it obvious and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by throwaway to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
 

I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: "I am just not so into skinny guys."

I think this is fair from the woman's perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: 'all women are whores'-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don't want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

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