noxypaws

Stardew Valley! At least on PC it has local split-screen co-op

My first job was washing dishes in a restaurant half a decade before the iPhone released, so yes

I believe Pizza Hut had online ordering at the time, but via their website amd the drivers probably all worked directly for the individual Pizza Huts

I genuinely believe Butt-head to be a kinder, more empathetic person that Matt Gaetz.

an arm and a lag

What about the technology that runs food delivery services do you find so compelling? I don't see what's so special about any of it.

the aquaduct?

I'd rather they were destroyed, but practically speaking that's impossible, and this sounds like the next best idea to me.

browsing menus you know are up to date

A quick web search shows plenty of anecdotes to the contrary.

being able to specify allergies as much as you want

And you trust that?? If I had a serious food allergy I would absolutely NOT trust that a food delivery service would communicate those effectively given how much they push restaurants around, up to and including adding restaurants without their knowledge or consent.

I suppose in the strictest sense, sure, these apps are convenient, but you sure are paying a lot for it, and some restaurants charge extra for it on top of the fees, and the delivery folks aren't getting a fair cut of the fees. Most of the fees go to big tech.

And rollerskate bearings

Ruins the patina, or something

Food ordering apps aren't convenient as fuck

I agree. Nothing convenient about overpaying to entrust your food to underpaid, unvetted delivery workers