feck_it

And that pregnant woman seemed so done with life, my condolences to her.

Aren't dirt bikes a viable alternative unless it rains? They are made for difficult dirt roads if I am not wrong.

And in english not less.

I watch RT Games too but like Kevin's new stuff more, different strokes for different folks I guess.

I was kind of addicted to pimple popping videos, mini terrarium and horse shoe ones are cool too.

I hate screamer and mumbled streamers so won't watch any of them if I can do literally anything else. But I frequent "Call me Kevin" on Youtube, his edited videos are production quality but in my opinion his streams are top notch too.

Texas seems like hell on earth, God.

Surely knows how to relax

Fair point. He doesn't want to be committed and I don't want to commited to HIM. I will talk as everything is normal to him and look for other people capable of honesty and love.

No TLDR. Sorry not sorry.

Thank you for your response. I guess I didn't give enough info on myself and what this guy is. I know him from the work and we knew each other before this silly thing too. I said fling as in our relationship is short timed right now. Now I will talk about your valid points as in I am also journaling through this.

I think you should take some time to self-reflect and think about what you really want for yourself in the future.

I had years for that. And it only made me weak and inexperienced, sky-rocketed my expections. I just want to experience the present and what it brings. But in your words;

pursuit and star-crossed lovers

I am seriously sucker for that idea. I believe that means two person who completes each other. No complaints no argument just pure bliss. But life is not like that so I try to change my idea of relationships. That is why I am in that position right now.

If he's just a fling, you feel no emotional connection, and just want to have sex, move on and get someone who actually wants sex with you.

I can say I don't feel that much of a 'love'. Maybe the feeling i have is not heart-broke but "tricked and it sadness by it" Even shock. A bit anger sprinkled.

I want him yet and if I let my mind wander enough will want another people too. I believe I am attractive enough, I am fine in my skin. He said to me thay he wants to take relationship a bit slow and it kind of makes sense to me. But i will look for other options too.

If this is someone who you want to pursue in a serious relationship, ask yourself if this is a person who genuinely makes you feel happy and supported?

I don't define my happiness with the people around me and believe a person's only support in life is themselves. I had to think about those two ideas in years, believe me. I used to be a very lonely person who used to be medicated for depression. I just want to learn the ropes of the life it that makes sense.

He is kind of harsh with his words normally. I know him from work. But I am not a mushy gushy gal indeed. We joke about each other, talk about nonsense for hours. He used to give me his honest while we were just friends. Maybe his mind became complicated in this week too. I wouldn't trash him yet.

Personally, I don't think he wants to be involved and isn't worth your time and effort.

My brain says that too. But as I said thinking only made me weak. I didn't want any kind of relationship in years, didn't even consider myself in relationship only enjoyed romantic films and dreamed. I thought that was enough for me but years of therapy opened my eyes to possibilities.

Life is really short and there's billions of people out there to meet, millions in your appropriate dating pool, thousands interested in dating, and likely hundreds where you are.

I don't want to meet literal hundreds of people. I don't want to waste my time on meeting them all. In my opinion life is way too short for that. I will rather have one long, involved, horrible experience than smaller hundred ones. Besides I have to work and sleep and clean around too.

So don't get caught up in some romantic idea of pursuit and star-crossed lovers.

And that is my main problem. I have to change my mindset about that. If i manage to do that I can conclude that I would rather be a single woman for rest of my life.

Thank you for your weighty opinion. If you have the time I will really appreciate your cross-points.

Yep, I got that he is not honest. But even though he happens to be a bastard I have no intention to marry him. I just want to be friends with benefits at that point.

I guess. But he should've NOT act like he liked me. I wouldn't go on if he said he wasn't ready yet. Maybe he was confused at that times too. I will look for other options but won't give up on him yet. I am already hurt so it can't get worse.