As someone who is generally a fan of your first 2 points, the latter two really get to me sometimes. I like the characters being forward, but if I indicate that I'm not interested I'd like them to kinda back off. Sometimes I don't even talk to certain companions because all their dialogue options are veiled flirtations. I'd like some characters to be friends and others to be romance options.
Gale is just a straight menace, every single interaction feels romance adjacent. Halsin keeps hinting at it, not nearly at the level of Gale but definitely is a constant undertone. Shadowheart was on my multi-romance train but, I decided to go forward with Laezel so I had to cut that one off. So Shadowheart is firmly in the friendly companion camp now.
Karlach, Astarion, Wyll, and Shadowheart are my mostly not too flirty companions. Astarion in particular has been great, I think I pissed him off in the early game with all my good choices so he just acts like a good friend. Which I appreciate.
I honestly didn't realize that affinity would activate romance mode for everyone. I just didn't want to piss some characters off and make them leave the party because they hated my character. Also didn't want to miss any affinity related (non-romance) quests.
Also shoutout to the biggest bro, my non-companion, Dame Aylin. She's the bro that I want my other friend companions to be.
I feel like the relationship with Lae'zel grows a lot over the course of the game. But you have to really commit to going that route.