Is it normal to spend years not reaching out because you thought your friends knew you were struggling with depression and gave up on you?
Is it normal to be so intimidated by people that it's hard to tell who actually wants to listen to you talk about your problems?
Is it normal to wish your friends would notice your absence and come looking for you and be willing to understand why you're struggling?
I think about the person I was when I left school. I was always there for my friends. I thought they would notice me like I noticed them. I thought when you're sad, your friends see you and ask what's wrong, stay and help.
Maybe I did this to myself. I just don't know how to undo it.
Damn, like, how do you make close friends?
It feels like I'm too late in life for lifelong friends, like, they'd have to have met me before I was an adult, right?
Like, I want to be close to someone, dammit. I thought other people wanted that. I think I'm confused. I need a nap