Romans 6:1 "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?"
This is typically the best reasoning behind the idea of eternal forgiveness. You can rack up points on your sin bill. But it's contrary to the overall goal of someone who is following the teachings of Jesus and Paul.
I was raised in a very religious environment. And while it's taken me many years to rid myself of the scars that caused me emotionally. I still have answers from time to time. And if it helps someone be a better person, I'm happy to share what I know.
Questioning an aspect of a belief structure is important for personal growth. And I hope that some of the comments here help you get what you need.
I really enjoyed Red Rising by Pierce Brown. I recommend it.