literally neither was. they both looked and felt very alien.
i've pinned my suddenly having weird, "grammar is starkly bizarre" issues down to being a side effect of adjusting my meds. hoping that fades later.
edit: and also i do think your statement is a very practical answer in a general sense :)
I uh. Have no idea if this fulfills what you need, exactly, it's about a very specific facet of autism, but I've read this book and found it helpful for grounding how to navigate, self-care especially:
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
I knew a lot of the information already, having built a lot of similar systems myself, but I feel it helped me feel less completely free-floating, based entirely in my own life theory with no contemporaries. I did learn some new things, as well, especially about wider context, safety, and how the stereotypes don't serve any of us all that well.
It is... a bit of a narrow focus, I don't know that it would give much information to those who aren't high-masking, I don't know that it would do much for someone who absolutely has to mask for safety. But if you struggle with high-masking and think there are probably at least some areas one could learn to let go, it is a decent reference. (Such as the case of me, who struggles with masking even in spaces I am completely alone, and suffering greatly because I have a lot of trouble letting go of what I "should be doing," and ending up perpetuating unwitting and unwilling violence against myself. Still working on that.)
I hope this might be helpful information, even if it was not precisely what you were looking for.