Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
Woah, that's a lot of info! Thank you!
I really love Shea Moisture products. About once a week, a very weak mix of bicarb and filtered water to break down left-over product, and a few tbsp of Bragg's acv, a dollop of raw honey and filtered water, shaken well, as a rinse. Acv seals the cuticle and adds gloss, honey conditions. You can still condition after. I couldn't see the pic, got an error message, but I've heard good things about https://lusterproducts.com/products/wave-jel-activator s curl activator, but not tried it, yet. Anything Shea Moisture has worked well for me. Right now, I need a cut and style, and haven't been styling and it's very humid, so my hair is very unruly!
Cool, Shea Moisture seems to be available where I am - I'll check it out!
YES, I was hoping that link was the CG doc!! This is the way!
Also consider asking your barber what kind of hair you have (thick, fine, voluminous, etc.), bc it can make a huge difference on what it needs. For example using conditioner as shampoo (co-washing) does amazing things for some people, but it can cause scalp buildup in thicker hair.
SheaMoisture is my go-to brand. Their conditioner is so concentrated you almost have to water it down, I keep an empty bottle around and do 50/50.
Can I see a pic of your hair?
Disaster incoming...
I like your hair but it looks bad at the bottom. Honestly I'd just say visit a good hair dresser for the cut and always ask for advice, you never know who you're talking to.
I'm only an expert of my own hair and ours is quite different. That being said you could definitely have a go at it. You'll want to look into the curly girl method, specially the kind of shampoo.
My two cents are that moisture and oil are essential to control. Oil will keep the moisture in your hair, so it won't start frizzing over time as quickly. Moisture you can control by showering and or using a fine water spray.
For starters get a spray and just play with that. Spray and let it sit, knead etc, etc. Just see what kind of control you can get out of that.
You'll also want to shape it after coming out of the shower, as it tends to keep the shape it dries in. If you comb it back and let it dry that way, it'll be impossible to really get it to curl nicely in all directions later. If your hair would be long I'd definitely suggest a hair dryer (low settings only), I'm not sure if that would help you. It just gives you that extra control over drying.
Back to shampoo and conditioner. Not all are the same. A 2 euro bottle is simply not going to live up to a 20 euro bottle. I'd recommend buying a full set where the bottles fit together, and just read their labels and see what fits best to you. It'll last like a year so it is worth the money. Try out different kinds over the years, as there's a huge difference in effect.
Don't be afraid to experiment and keep learning. I used to have 1 good hair day every 3 or so. And now I have only a few bad hair days per year. There's hope!
Thank you! I guess I can't avoid the hairdresser for ever - I've been dreading the "yes, I actually do want it to look girly" conversation.
Looks like the CG method and moving off my current "don't care" brand shampoo is a good place to start. Here's to some experimentation :3
tbh I don't think you should worry too much!
most if not all hairdressers I've met (in the conservative area I live in) are understanding and kind, so I personally think you'll be fine🤗
Power to you!🌻
Thank you (^-^)
Nice! You'll definitely see improvement. Don't be afraid to invest some money in products that are nice for your body. Sure, some people overdo it, but it's totally healthy to love yourself!
When it comes to the social aspect of going to the hair dresser, well, that's something you could approach as a entirely seperate topic.
The lil wavies that are already visible are SUPER promising. You’ve got a beautiful natural curl! As it gets longer it’ll start to drape more regularly under it’s own weight, and it’ll be easier to style once there’s more of it to work with.
The washing/conditioning methods in the CG doc will help bring out/emphasize your natural curl pattern. I went from kinda wavy hair to actual ringlets, and your hair looks wavier than mine was when I started!
And the great part about CG is you can tweak your results, there’s no one singular “ideal” end goal! It’s like a community of curl-scientists constantly running experiments and sharing their findings.
e: i think my instance is fucking up, sorry for the spam!
Woo, that's encouraging :) I really like the photo in the CG doc; hopefully I can get something similar.
The hairdresser tidied it up for me (I think they got the idea that I really do want to grow it all out), but it's looking pretty masculine still. I guess I'll wait a few months and bring a picture next time!
Proper haircare depends on your hair. The previously posted link is a good resource. It is obvious when someone grows their hair out for the first time without knowing how to care for it.
Basic advice would probably be, wash your hair with shampoo but not every day, use a conditioner, but don't rinse it off immediately it needs time to condition, and brush your hair with a brush starting from the ends moving up.