I take every single red pill at once and shutdown Amazon s3 services for 1500 seconds. That should be fun.
this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
63 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
13535 readers
57 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
better yet, take one pill every few minutes or so you fuck them over on and off for much longer. a 15 second outage probably takes a lot of systems serious recovery time and causes data loss
better yet cut each pill into 7 or 8 pieces so you have 750 pills that shut it down for 2 seconds. take one every few minutes a couple dozen times a day for the next month until amazon goes bankrupt and many lines go down
AWS is widespread enough that this would likely kill people. Medical solutions having AWS infra alone could do it.
warn them. before taking your first pill, fly to russia and post a manifesto somewhere, saying you will shut down x major server at x time on x day, and then another server, and then another, until AWS continually as your ultimate goal. when all your threats come true, industries will take you seriously and be mostly prepared. you'll be like communist light yagami
I wonder how long it would take before you got got.
Medical solutions running stuff through the internet at all let alone aws infrastructure is fucking terrifying wtf
So your doctor writes you a prescription. How do you want the prescription to get to the pharmacy?
- Carry it with you in person (excludes telehealth)
- Fax (many pharmacies use this)
- Internet (pharmacies are generally moving to this)
Choose one
load more comments
(3 replies)
I choose a stack of red pills. I make a list of websites owned by wealthy companies with high uptime metrics, and I start taking the first few red pills. After the website has been down for a brief time, I send a ransom note demanding bitcoin payment or else I threaten to take the website off-line indefinitely and demonstrating my power in 15 second intervals at scheduled times. Collect ransom payments and live a life of luxury. Also works with core websites upon which the military industrial complex relies. They don’t know I only have 100 pills.
Take all 100 green pills
Just fucking turn into a mummy instantly after committing my 24 hour crime spree
Imagine you just finished robbing a bank and you bust so hard that you blast off into the distance and nobody ever finds you again like a spooge-powered DB Cooper
Looks like Flakes Bongler is blas- immediately dies of dehydration
Tagline
Instacum pill. Present myself as an eccentric inventor-chemist to get investor backing using a portion of the pills to prove my claims. Reap tons of VC funding for an industry-disrupting invention. Use some of that funding to try to reverse engineer the pill via mass spectrometry and all that. If it works, great! I now have a big business with which to fund global communism. If not, I can probably still vibe by saying the formula has unexpected side effects and shut things down. even if the company goes bankrupt I'd still have whatever I paid myself as a salary. Worst case scenario I could fuck off to a country that won't extradite me
Basically Theranosmaxxing
just don't lose yourself to the billionaire brain virus on your way to build communism by scamming VC money
grey pill so I can HONK SHOO while a feather is kept afloat by my own breath
HOOOONNNNNNKKKKKKKSSSSHHHhhhhhh mimimimimimimi
sleep number adjustable bed for snoring
Sawing lumber like a cartoon
Obstructive sleep apnea, now in convenient pill form
If the receive pill is what I think it is 
gimme da gril pil
Shut down a website for 15 seconds, get fired with cause. Snore like a cartoon tonight. Receive 1 orange mailed to you. Estrogen, cum instantly, cum in 24 hours.
That seems just like an average day for someone.
black and red pill are both probably the most powerful for self interested ends, but the orange pill and grey pills allow for the most reality bending of situations.
I'd probably go for the black pill, make good documentation of working somewhere and making no mistakes, then trying to sue the company that fired me if I can find a reason to.
If I were much braver, I could use the Red Pill to act as a technoprophet or to blackmail large portions of the tech industry (they just have to believe I can permanently black them out on command, the fact that I only have 100 of them is more than enough to make them believe it), but alas, I am not nearly brave enough to try and pull a stunt like that.
What kind of orange?
Stupid big orange ones. Hard to peel and just not fun. Don’t take that pill.
Your choice
Oh tight definitely the orange one then
What orange would you get?
Pink, but only so I can pass it off to someone else that needs it.
"receive"??? is this some type of pill that I'm insufficiently horny on main to understand??
You've heard of the kids who dosed their teacher with LSD but what does the mean English teacher do when he gets a yellow pill in his coffee every morning at school
Probably develop some weird fucking kink by conditioning
Grey pills. Take that insomnia.
All I know is that your mom definitely doesn't need the yellow pill. I'm already able to supply that to her. 
(Grey Pill is the clear winner for me, though.)
🥺
Grey Pill ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
grey pill
put it in the dog's food bowl with dinner heehee
estrogen
Warning: roughly 60% of the pink pill is metabolized by your liver, so the efficacy is kind of meh and not really adequate for monotherapy
Is that why we also take androgen blockers?
androgen blockers are to block testosterone production, or testosterone's bodily absorption
when you take hormones orally by swallowing, most of it gets filtered out by your liver. this is why oral estrogen sits under your tongue for 20 minutes so it can absorb into your blood directly
injections are always the superior method anyway but not everyone can get them sadly
load more comments
(1 replies)
No pill to instantly die? Pass.
Take all 100 cum in 24 hours pills at once and start a timer
You know, if I'm gonna be offing myself, might as well have fun eh?
There should be one that upon entering your mouth the one hundredth kills you.
Red and I'm causing the Seattle suicide rate to skyrocket by periodic full AWS outages.
If I take all 100 grey pills at once, does that mean I snore like a cartoon for 100 nights or do I get to be some kind of natural disaster?
This kills the crab.
Question: does the red pill work on the mainframe servers powering the New York Stock Exchange?
Since it doesn't stipulate that it has to be me taking them: Those black pills seem useful to give to some powerful people.
view more: next ›