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submitted 3 months ago by Alaskaball@hexbear.net to c/main@hexbear.net

Also who's your pick for winner of the arbitrary 4-way american civil war? Personally I'm hoping for the West, but I'm worried Northeast might sneak victory in when nobody's looking

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[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 35 points 3 months ago

whoever could maintain a blockade of the others ports probably.

if I were running one of the breakaway nations, I would try to form a coalition with another one over mutual disdain for texas. decapitate it's leadership, demobilize it's law enforcement, and create a colony on it with displaced people from other areas. heavily arm them and direct them to land / resource / infrastructure grab everything.

with any luck, everybody will be so focused on that shit show, they won't notice that I have used all the gold to build a giant Colossus of myself that shoots flames and lightning bolts.

checkmate.

[-] Chronicon@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago

whoever could maintain a blockade of the others ports probably.

the fate of the midwest rests on whether canada can help us keep the st lawrence seaway open

The mississippi is a lost cause pretty much

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

decapitate it's leadership

Based

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 34 points 3 months ago

West has the economy and the defensive geography. It is impossible for them to lose.

[-] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

the west will balkanize further thos.. it is to diverse .. the desert plateus , the Fjords and giant trees around seattle , california stealing all their water.. Theocracies versus technocracy.. also oregon , maybe somethig about oregon is also special.

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

I mean yeah the faction is fictional and unlikely but the question is based on if the factions were the above image. West has the strongest geography going for them.

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

But not as far as shipping. The great lakes facilitated a lot of expansion.

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[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

Midwest

Under that veil of Minnesota nice beats the heart of some of the most vicious and demonic creatures known to God

[-] blobjim@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago

thry turned the US into the microsoft logo and it immediately broke

[-] Goadstool@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

What is it with literally everyone from every single region in every part of the planet bragging about how many drunks there are as one of the first two things they mention about where they're from

y'all can't ALL be the drunkest mother fuckers on the planet

[-] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

I worked at a hotel bar across from a convention center, every group loved talking about how much they could drink, that you'd never seen anyone drink like they could. All these different types of salespeople, annoying for sure. Yeah, I'm sure agricultural equipment sales folks are the best drinkers bud. They were so proud of it, but any dive will have drunker and more entertaining people. Easy to get a rise out of them by saying how much more another group the week earlier had drank.

Anyway, alcoholism is a problem and probably not the victory they're looking for, otherwise this is Utah's game to lose.

[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

Critical support to the Mormon Mujahedeen in their struggle against their livers

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago

don't care so long as it ends in communism

[-] liberaldeathsquads@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

Independent south

Ngmi

[-] DirtyPair@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

I just hope everyone has fun

[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

Colorado and Utah will end up becoming America's Afghanistan and Utah will become the Mormon Mujahedeen.

[-] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

NE and West would be the only real contenders as a matter of economic power.

My bet is NE because they would be able to bribe or coerce the midwest into sharing Great lakes water, at which point the clock on the West running out of potable water would be the driving factor behind their surrender.

[-] liberaldeathsquads@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

West>south>midwest>northeast

West is obviously strongest but northeast is literally the smallest in land and population. None of these regions would lack in water, just bad policies, bad infrastructure, them not sharing water wouldn’t even be a factor. There are places on earth where wars have been fought over water, America probably won’t be one of them unless we are talking tens of thousands of years into the future and by then water probably won’t be the biggest concern climate change wise.

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

America probably won’t be one of them unless we are talking tens of thousands of years into the future and by then water probably won’t be the biggest concern climate change wise

read cadillac desert lol (but i don't think western water would be a deciding factor in <decade long war)

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

Gonna sneak in and burn down the white house again while you are all fighting

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

Well with the west and the south splitting most of the nuke supply and the Midwest being capable of thriving in nuclear winter, it's really anyone's game. The northeast is no longer the manufactory hub it once was. Ultimately though, I think the west is set up to take home the victory with critical support and materials from China. Can't really get that anywhere else too readily.

[-] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

The Midwest would have quite a few nukes. North Dakota and Kansas holds a large fraction of them.

https://nuclearforces.org/country-profiles/united-states

[-] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Plus the West would have most of it's critical infrastructure far away from the border. Much easier to protect your heavy industry when it's 1500 miles away from the fighting. The South and Midwest have relatively vulnerable infrastructure not far from their borders, easy distance to target without having to refuel and less time to intercept any missiles.

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Southerners may have a lot of guns, but they have no where to train for war except indoor gun ranges. Whereas western blue states have a ton of public land, but most of the people there absolutely despise guns despite wanting the police and military to arrest every republican

I mean, historically most civil wars didn’t involve civilians training ahead of time. But most countries that had civil wars in the modern day weren’t as rich and privileged as Americans. A modern day american civil war will look less like Yugolavia and more like the Roof Koreans in the LA Riots - that is, a bunch of assholes shooting each other because they lack the communication and proper training (despite their ebic skills in the korean war). The exception being the mall cops that actually have time and money to “train” in the woods all day with their militias.

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Seeing that map reminds me of a post I read some time ago about a "libertararian" who moved from California to Texas to scape the "oppressive" state government to a land of free, just to find out there were no public parks where to camp, and that that was his favorite hobbie and now they "understood" why some government is needed and was thinking on going back to California.

[-] BynarsAreOk@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Southerners may have a lot of guns, but they have no where to train for war except indoor gun ranges.

As if the problem is gun handling and not the fact the average chud couldn't run for 2 miles without having a heart attack. Seriously I would not expect the average American to go through a civil war scenario without clogging up hospitals with all sorts of heart problems and general consequences of an extremely sedentary lifestyle.

Maybe you saw the recent pictures of those old Ukrainian soldiers? People dunk on them looking like tired/out of shape but imo they are probably in better physical condition than like half of these chuds.

[-] quarrk@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

The South would try invading the Midwest, but end up dying from all the industrial carcinogens that Midwesterners have adapted to. Like the wildlife around Chernobyl.

[-] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

midwest is expected to be expansionist as it needs to secure its in / export routes by taking New Orleans and securing the St Lorance river? (warm water ports)

[-] Lenins_Cat_Reincarnated@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

Americans please explain to me why the midwest is called the midwest. It’s kinda in the middle, but it’s really not the west?? Why not call it the midnorth? Or northern mid?

[-] TC_209@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

From the perspective of an 18th century European colonist, that territory is the "middle" of a great expanse of land to the west.

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[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago

The West. An alliance with China could be possible and supply lines to East Asia are critical. In addition there Pacific Fleet could blockade the Panama Canal and prevent any Chinese goods from getting to the other states in a reasonable amount of time. We also have a series of large mountain ranges that could slow down invasion heavily and plenty of oil, industry food and water. Plus the inevitable Capital in LA being really far away helps. The South is surrendering quickly and the Midwest becomes a grueling counterinsurgency campaign that claims tens of millions of lives but eventually ends in attrition from the Midwest due to the lack of trade and brutal Northern urban warfare.

[-] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

china has no interest in "reassembeling" a Balkanized USA .

[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

They definitely would if they could get the US as an ally

[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 14 points 3 months ago

Represent.

SOYBEANS AND CORN

[-] Tunnelvision@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Soybeanis and cornbeanis

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The west could hold the mountain passes and remain independent if they don't win the whole thing.

Texas is fucked after one of its biannual electrical crashes so they'll be in play for like six months tops and then be a burden for whoever allies with them. Eventually Mexico takes it back.

The south continues their Civil War losing streak. The villages in Florida look like a charnel house after 2 weeks.

The north east loses Maine to Canada and maybe loses the war but nobody wants to occupy it after.

[-] gallopingsnail@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 3 months ago

inb4 the northeast becomes a collection of city-states? 🤔

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Philly will be too busy bullying it's neighbors to become a regional power

Jersey City changes its name to Giorzzi and completes its Italofication.

Ireland invades and razes Boston to put an end to its shenanigans once and for all.

[-] darkmode@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

Ireland invades and razes Boston to put an end to its shenanigans once and for all.

inshallah

[-] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

our enemies will crumble under the might of Papa Khan Pritzker and the midwestern horde

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago
[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

Burgerreich

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

It’ll be less geopolitical and more like After the End where a bunch of american enclaves fight with cultists

[-] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

Could see likely a coalition of the NE, which should probably include Maryland, Delaware, and DC, plus Midwest and West Coast minus the plains and mountain states. They'd then mop the floor.

this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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