This has to be the closest I’ve ever been to biting the damn onion…
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I was biting down hard until the last sentence: “She Hits Me Every Night” and then I lost it laughing!
Ok I know this fictional story about a woman abusing her husband is supposed to be funny, but it's not, really. Abuse by women does happen and is often ignored because of this culture of 'it doesn't happen / it's funny / man up'.
Abuse is terrible, but if it's going to happen it couldn't happen to a more deserving cunt than this guy.
cunt
Uh oh, that's another flag!
It really is funny just how many of the supreme court justices seem to be married to someone who could very easily be the one actually calling the shots and just latched onto someone with the credentials to effect the agenda.
This is one of my pet peeve misspellings, so I apologize but I can’t help myself. It’s impossible to “effect” anything as it’s only ever a noun. Effects are the result of someone affecting something. For instance, someone can affect a justice, the effect being that they hold sway over the daily lives of many Americans despite the absence of credentials.
I don’t believe any of their spouses set out to do so when they married them but they certainly do so to the detriment of humanity at large, and that’s bad enough.
I'm sorry but you're wrong: effect can be used to mean to cause something to happen. This is different from affect's verb form, which is to influence something.
Affect also has a noun form, if you're curious. This duality of effect and affect having both noun and verb forms, even though each has a more popular common usage, is a common thing to misunderstand.
The verb effect goes beyond mere influence; it refers to actual achievement of a final result. the new administration hopes to effect a peace settlement. The uncommon noun “affect,” which has a meaning relating to psychology, is also sometimes mistakenly used for the very common “effect.”
TIL
I didn't know Alito's wife was a cop.