I pick a duck: Nobody said it had to be a challenging fight plus duck is delicious.
Bring it on you rapey bastard!
this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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Used to work with a guy who was fully convinced he had like a 90% chance of winning a fight bare handed with a mountain lion. 100% if he has a pocket knife...
That's a cat that's as big as a human. They're 6 to 7 feet long and weigh 75 to 160 pounds. And they're very good at hiding, so the chances are you get surprised.
Some people...
...with multiple "pocket knives" at the end of each limb and a jaw and set of teeth specifically designed to kill fleshy opponents with a skull or trachea crush.
It also eats an all-natural diet and exercises every fucking day of its life. And has spent all of that life practicing at being really fucking good at killing things that don't want to be dead, and spend all of their lives practicing to avoid the mountain lion.
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The answer is a lot smaller than most guys think.
A lot. There's a lot of animals that have learned to fear us only through our tools.
That said, a group of buddies could just walk some pretty large animals to death.
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What's the women's version of this?
Which of your friends do you think is cheating?
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I like my odds against most things the size of a large raccoon or smaller. Most things larger than that would probably smoke me.
If I could turn off my empathy and love for animals I think I could defeat a Husky, maybe a German Shepard or similar with a kick to the head.
A single sheep? Maybe, if it's not a mother. Goat? Fuck no. Anything larger than that and I have no fucking chance. Perhaps I could scare a deer, but that's it.
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If the animal is bigger than my pinky finger I would probably just run the other way, so I hope I don't get asked this.
This doesn't mean that at that size or smaller I would win, just that we can start talking about it.
A Jaguar... BUT ONLY with preptime and if I get a 10m distance at the start of the fight. Otherwise I admit I'm just dead.
Does it have the CD-ROM add-on that looks like a toilet and doesn't work most of the time?
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This question always trips me up because life is random. A human would probably win against a rat 99.9% of the time. But there is that scenario where the rat happens to bite in just the right spot and you bleed out. Same thing would happen in the inverse. Would a human beat a wolf, improbable. But there is that scenario where the wolf gets its neck too close to a human who goes primal and bites down and rips out as much as possible.
Myself? Maybe a dog if it was never trained to fight or defend.
I have successfully defeated several small fish and rodents over the years, and numerous insects.
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