this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 42 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Why is this necessary? Ukraine is winning and killing 500,000 ruzzianZ a day. If anything Putler should be gooning his soldiers, not Zelensky

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Ummm???

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/12/28/russian-troops-sent-to-ukraine-entitled-to-sperm-freezing-media

Actually, all of this shit is old news, now, apparently, Uke's been doin' it at Feb 2023, just recently afterwards...

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 41 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Why are fascists always obsessed with semen?

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 33 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Birthrates, mythologised blood, cheap labour

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Blood and soil ideology and practice, egh....

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

Blood, soil and semen.

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

Sebum retention, mostly

[–] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 41 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Also the whole 'The gene seed must be preserved at all costs' thing

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's disgusting. Literally this is the first time in human history that this is happening. Like how do they even store it?

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They just freeze the sperm in samples I guess...

I mean, anything is on the table right now, for all I know... that's life... squidward-nervous

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

Imagine the pornos that will come out this. It's gonna be like that one scene in The Boys where Hughie is at soldier boy's place while that "weird" video about his character is playing

[–] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Artificial population growth post war.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

That's literally the dumbest thing, just let the civvies populate for you.

Very dumb to go after cum that's gone bad

[–] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

Especially weird when you're basically genetically indistinguishable from the "asiatic horde" invading you.

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago

Reporting for duty, I've prepared for this my entire life. fidel-salute-big

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] D61@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Azov milk maiden Valkyries are on the horizon... lathe-of-heaven

[–] jizzong@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] D61@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago

Robocop meets Rule 34

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 7 points 9 months ago

Red Army soldier (1922–1942)

rat-salute-2

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The brave soldier running into the battle field to collect his fallen comrade's cum like peppino-run

[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The year is 2045, the Great European Water Wars between the various european ethnostates are raging for nearly a decade now.

Field medics aren't equipped with any first aid kids, only with a castration device with a built in freezing unit so they can extract as much white cum from their fallen comrades. The captive brood wives are already waiting to be inseminated with warrior cum in the fertility clinics.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago

Another battalion down, calling Code White, alert Cum Patrol!

[–] buh@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago

Who remembers Semen Hitler

[–] TimeTravel_0@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago

:skeleton-guns-akimbo:you want my genes? cum and take it:skeleton-guns-akimbo:

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago

Your volcel pledge doesn't end upon death, citizen volcel-judge

[–] AsLeftAsTheyCome@hexbear.net 22 points 9 months ago

Imagine sprinting directly into a the aftermath of a russian artillery strike to jack off a corpse lol.

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wait, wasn't this old news already?

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/16/world/europe/ukraine-soldiers-freeze-sperm.html

April 16, 2023

Motherfucker, why didn't more people make jokes about this before?

[–] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 7 points 9 months ago

That probably didn't have enough sign ups so this one will be used on people regardless of consent because Ukraine needs to artificially raise their population after war.

[–] ComradeOohAah@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago

Oh shit! Oh Fuck! Nobody tell Xi! I'm already behind schedule!

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago

Why did they need legislation to let that happen? Did they have to create an exemption for a certain type of necrophilia? thinking-about-it

[–] Anne_Teefa@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

Oh no, can't believe Anthony Padilla would join the Ukrainian military and the smosh crew would give him a lil Hitler stache to blend in. Truly the darkest timeline. My condolences to the smosh team, I hope they found all his fleshy bits so they can cryogenically freeze him and fix him in the far future so we can see him and Ian get married. kitty-cri

[–] Des@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

right after i read that headline in spooky voice i heard "wwoOOoooOoOooooo" hexbear-specter

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

Just ethnofascist things. jagoff

One man stood up to a dictator (and banned opposition parties, hijacked the media, and banned entire religous sects ) (also trying to stay beyond his term morshupls but the Ukrainian constiution doesn't allow for elections under martial law - how convenient much democracy) (also not a dictator) farquaad-point

[–] D61@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Semens" stock is about to soar! BUY NOW! stonks-up

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

you fool! They're merely increasing the total supply available! The demand remains the same! semen stocks are going down!

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

lathe-of-heaven

In order to replenish the Nazi hoardes women will be given houses and be career Ayran cracker factories.

Future generations of Ukrainians will then have a problem with inbreeding and an entire giggity sub DNA industry to ensure ~~least~~ optimal amout of inbreeding of the master race.

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 9 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: