this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 102 points 9 months ago (4 children)
  1. I am not made out of silly putty.
  2. I am not female.
  3. I cannot code.
  4. I am 120% less flexible than her.
  5. I lack a port hole through which to see the screen.
  6. I don't want to.
[–] Treczoks@kbin.social 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Apart from 3., I'm in full agreement.

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[–] ques0@lemmy.world 80 points 9 months ago
[–] rozlav@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 9 months ago

Back-end developper ?

[–] dipshit@lemmy.world 47 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 60 points 9 months ago

... full development stack?

[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 43 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I'd say visibility is kinda poor

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 9 months ago

Slap an Apple Vision Pro on ya face

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[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 39 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Risk of the buttplug falling on my face.

[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 24 points 9 months ago

Use some duct tape

[–] UxyIVrljPeRl@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 30 points 9 months ago

If I was to ever get myself into that position it's going to take 3 doctors and a voodoo priest to get me out of it.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 29 points 9 months ago

Too close to my own dick, gonna try to suck it and get distracted.

[–] spez@sh.itjust.works 27 points 9 months ago

An annoying lack of x-ray vision.

[–] peto@lemm.ee 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That wrist angle looks uncomfortable as all hell.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 months ago

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[–] amio@kbin.social 19 points 9 months ago

Being generally as flexible as a dry straw, not owning the cool open-toe tights, missing the ability to see through my own abdomen, and I don't use Apple products.

[–] sj_zero@lotide.fbxl.net 19 points 9 months ago

About 200 pounds.

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I think it's the fact that I can't see the errors on my vagina.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 8 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a skill issue to me

[–] optissima@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Someone chose the wrong bottom surgery smh

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 15 points 9 months ago

I prefer to type on an ergonomic keyboard thank you very much.

[–] MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml 15 points 9 months ago

So this is the new Lenovo Yoga line... Nice.

[–] sheepishly@kbin.social 15 points 9 months ago

mfer goin for the self-suc

[–] mumblerfish@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What would enable me to work like that, is my question.

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[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

A lifetime of sitting still mostly

[–] Hupf@feddit.de 10 points 9 months ago

How to post to c/unixsocks

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 10 points 9 months ago
[–] muxelplexer@programming.dev 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

that would probably be a more healthy position to sit in then what i'm used to lol

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 9 points 9 months ago

It's just the natural evolution of slouching

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar 10 points 9 months ago

My hamstrings

[–] marswarrior@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] andioop@programming.dev 9 points 9 months ago
  1. I can easily bend in half and reach past my toes, but this is another ask entirely.
  2. Even if I could do this, I don't have eyes in my back or a computer screen in my knees.
[–] alexdeathway@programming.dev 9 points 9 months ago

probably not having enough money to replace the laptop.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago
[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 months ago

I have bones

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 9 months ago

My inflexibility

[–] Blackout@kbin.social 8 points 9 months ago

Lack of a yoga mat or you wouldn't be able to stop me 😉

[–] GarlicToast@programming.dev 7 points 9 months ago

I don't own a yoga mat

[–] ONRYO@feddit.ch 7 points 9 months ago

Aldready poor coding skills.

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

Even as a big fat homo, and presuming I could get into that position, I don't want to stare at my own dick all day.

[–] ReadingCat@programming.dev 6 points 9 months ago
[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

c/fullshrimp

[–] Nyanix@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

I can talk out my ass, but can't see through my ass. Common misconception.

[–] Michal@programming.dev 6 points 9 months ago

I like to see the screen whole coding

[–] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I could probably get into a similar position, but I'm not that good at touch typing so 🤷‍♂️

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