this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 50 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I always wonder "what do these people think their quack bullshit does?" And have to remind myself that the whole the world consistents of physical processes and phenomena interacting with each other in predictable, observable ways" thing isn't actually a universal belief.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago

What if that same thing, but instead of having to read a textbook about chemistry I could pretend it's the magical systems from my favourite cartoons? Then I could just watch cartoons and feel as smart as a doctor.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 37 points 9 months ago

She died on that Florida parking lot but she smelled great!

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also yes, she is using this to sell a pyramid scheme. You too can be a holistic paramedic if you join DoTerra: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/1acmp5u/doterra_hun_thinks_shes_a_hero/

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 4 points 9 months ago

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[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Of course this is at Disney World. I love that she's prepared with oils like a fucking Witcher, though I'm guessing there's more nuance to what a witcher uses in different occasions. Also concerned that smelly oils are getting in those cuts. Great work all around

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

She's prepared with oils and the situation is so desperate that she throws bruise oil to her husband before saving her own child from the horror of a minor fall. Mickey Mouse and the police stood there clapping and demanding their own DoTerra business where they can be their own boss.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

though I'm guessing there's more nuance to what a witcher uses in different occasions.

In the books they don't even use oils (and barely ever use potions or signs, for that matter) most of their gimmick is just being good at the witchcraft known as stabbing a mfer with a sword.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 33 points 9 months ago (2 children)

help i fell down and now some strange man is oiling me

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago

This is basically the new testament

[–] FanonFan@hexbear.net 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Wonder how much of the hype about essential oils can be attributed to the conflation of "essential"-- essence of-- with "essential"-- necessary, important.

Like this essential oil is the essence of mint. It's not particularly essential or useful or anything.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's incredibly silly because they're literally just for perfumes, even since forever ago, the main reason people used these oils was for smelling nice.

[–] BigHaas@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

Well some are legitimately psychoactive like lavender oil

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think it has to be a lot of it. They've been the dominant form of woo longer than crystals or homeopathy were, haven't they?

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't know about that... Extracting essential oils is sounds alot harder than picking up a rock and saying it's magical.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

Ah but that gives an illusion of rigor. Surely people wouldn't go through all the effort for nothing, right?

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

bro this is our street medic we are not gonna make it

[–] abc@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago

the minimum wage disney parking lot attendant watching this happen while presumably directing traffic around them: monke-ruserious

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

i too love to smell farts

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Always bums me out because I like essential oils, just because they smell good. I feel weird having them though, multiple occasions of friends letting me know "you know those don't really work right?" And me being confused momentarily trying to figure out what they could possibly mean (it's like saying a candle doesn't work in my brain) until remembering a fuck load of people think it's medicine.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 9 months ago

I like essential oils, just because they smell good.

Funnily enough that's their main purpose throughout history, and while people always gave some medicinal properties attached to it (probably because before industrialization it would take even more work to extract the stuff), it's always been used for perfumes.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

People add some mystical nonsense to them. At the end of the day, all they really do is produce smells that can produce psychosomatic effects. That doesn't mean they're not useful, I just wouldn't oil myself up for cancer and shit.

[–] Ceres@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

also why I frequent healing crystal stores because the good ones have some cool looking or geologically interesting rocks, then it's 50/50 if it's a reasonable price or a $200 spray painted quartz crystal lol. although the real shame is when all the rocks are rounded and polished because that gets rid of half the mineralogy

[–] determinism2@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago

"He did attempt to give one of the injured some water, but otherwise he was just placing crystals around the bodies."

[–] axont@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago

Y'all might laugh but some of us have an MP deficiency and need regular oiling, sometimes mid battle

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why is God blocked out twice?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

Because god didn't save that woman. Essential oils did.

[–] hotwarioinyourarea@hexbear.net 9 points 9 months ago

HELP! HELP! THIS ELDERLY LADY HAS FALLEN OVER! DOES ANYBODY HAVE SOME GINSENG?? SHE'S SPIRITUALLY FLATLINING! OH GOD! WE NEED THE FRANKINCENSE NOW OR SHE'S NOT GOING! TO MAKE IT! SOMEBODY PREP THE PADDLES. YES, I MEAN THE AMETHYST PADDLES!

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I need 50 cc's of frankincense oil STAT

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

I tossed my husband a coffee enema out of my medkit and screamed, "fill her up good, baby." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "thank you sir for saving my life" as the coffee did its job.

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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