this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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Lemmy NSFW

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There are issues that have been on my mind for a few days, and I wanted to talk about them with you.

Downvotes

As you may notice, downvotes have been completely off for the last few days. I did this because I couldn't resist the pressure of some friends :/ I still don't know what to do about this. The majority of members probably want it to be completely open. As mods, posters and admins; some think it should be closed, some think it should be restricted (I guess).

I guess there is no solution that makes everyone happy. I realized I don't have admin skills in stressful situations, I'm a fucking stupid lol :D I miss @gabe so much.

lemmyposter212 suggested "fuzzy votes" or something that can work for us too. I think I'll just ghost this issue for a while.

Donations

As you know, all our donation accounts have been closed. Since it was my first time opening a site in the NSFW area, I had no experience. I reviewed some adult donation sites but most of them were shady. Honestly I couldn't trust them.

There are only coins now. But I guess most people don't want to deal with coins. It is because I didn't get any donations about 4 months now :D Those sent from Github Sponsor or Patreon were also returned to donators as well. I received $200-ish donations so far.

We are currently the 2nd largest instance in Lemmy. After lemmy.world, we're bigger than lemmy.ml and lemm.ee! I don't think it will work this way anymore. On an annual basis, I need to spend a month's salary for Lemmy NSFW.

Does anyone have an idea to solve this problem?

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[–] lnsfw3@lemmynsfw.com 87 points 9 months ago (2 children)

First off: thanks for running this site.

Second: you made the right choice with downvotes. There are too many people who downvote stuff outside their kink. I've seen more dudes showcasing their junk since you started. That isn't my thing, but it's good for the community.

Third: I'm gonna have to look up this coin thing. You got a link?

Fourth: the gallery sounds cool.

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Thanks my buddy :) There is a post I'm using for it which is here: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/87160

[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Side note; is it gay to upvote a picture of a dong?

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

Only if you're not sure

[–] DelvianSeek@lemmynsfw.com 54 points 9 months ago (5 children)

First and foremost - thank you for everything you do running lemmynsfw. You're doing an amazing job and I, for one, appreciate it tremendously.

Re: downvotes, I still believe that downvotes open only to community members is the way to go, but I appreciate you're doing what you feel is best and if you think it's genuinely improving things to turn them off entirely, you do what you need to do. I'm willing to be convinced, I truly am, but I haven't been yet. That said, I found a workaround to my biggest problem with it - hiding read posts without voting - so I don't have to upvote things I don't like just to make them go away. With that in place, I can live with it. At the end of the day, I just want to be able to browse without seeing the same posts more than once.

Re: donations, it's truly a shame that you haven't been able to set something up. I was here right at the beginning, and I was a very early donor, because I truly believe that Lemmy needs a dedicated place for NSFW content, I want lemmynsfw (and Lemmy as a whole) to succeed, and I understand how much it costs to host such a place. So I'd be very happy to donate again if you can find a channel. That said, I don't want to have to do so using some sort of cryptocurrency. Not only because, like Lemmy itself, it's not quite there yet in terms of usability, but also because (unlike Lemmy), at the end of the day I find the entire crypto world to be very scammy and shady, rampant with bad actors. Not to mention that Trocador app you linked to elsewhere doesn't seem to handle setting up monthly recurring donations, which is what I'd like to do.

My suggestion would be to investigate Epoch as a payment processor. I have joined multiple porn sites in the past, and they've all used Epoch for their billing, and at least I personally have never had a problem. They seem on the up-and-up to me (but again, I said investigate - please do your own due diligence). What I don't know is if they handle one-time donations, or if they just do monthly billing.

Re: Gallery, I'll be honest I'm not that interested in new UI's for Lemmy. The default UI + TamperMonkey scripts (LemmyTools + Lemmy Keyboard Navigation) work great for me and pretty much reproduce old.reddit on PC, and Sync took me all of 2 or 3 days to adjust to on Android and now I'm cool with it. I think it's wonderful you want to keep contributing to the Lemmy universe, and it's awesome you found someone to help, but just speaking for myself, I'd view this one as pretty low priority.

Once again, thank you. You invest so much time and energy here it's crazy. Hope you get the donation channel issue worked out very soon, so I can start contributing again.

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Epoch seemed safe to me too. But they responded as below for "donations":

"Thanks for the email and details. Unfortunately, we are unable to provide processing due to the billing being for donations. We are ok with the NSFW content; however, with our structure with our Acquirer/Bank, our services can not be used for the billing of donations."

[–] DelvianSeek@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 9 months ago

Oh that's really a bummer :-(

What about making a free onlyfans or fansly where someone could "tip" to donate? You wouldn't have to actually put up any content.

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[–] AnnoyingPedant@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hey! I just realized your username is from Farscape! I was like, "Delvian... Delvian... I know that from somewhere..." Great show. Ignore me and carry on...

[–] DelvianSeek@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hahaha! I have used this username (here and on reddit) for years, and you are the first person to call that out. Excellent!

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[–] BlackSkinnedJew@lemmynsfw.com 46 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

My humble opinions are:

Downvotes are there for a reason and they should be allowed to everyone who want to downvote something they don't like I don't see the point of restricting it.

If you don't get enough donations you should try to cut costs,maybe purging old inactive stuff or optimizing the server resources usage/downgrading unused resources of the server..

I use Lemmy over an Android app so I really don't give a flying fuck about web interfaces of Lemmy.

Pray&Luck 🙏🤞.

[–] lobster_fowl@lemmynsfw.com 29 points 9 months ago

I struggle with downvotes for my tastes vs the communal good.

If I'm scrolling through gonewild and I see a post from a gender I'm not into, do I downvote because I don't like it?

No, because that punishes someone else (who's putting themselves out there and contributing) for my tastes, and it doesn't actually improve the algorithm of what gets served to me.

If it's spam, or a photo of someone's thumb wearing a tutu, or off topic, or violating a rule then I'll downvote (this is pretty rare though).

I also usually block posters who aren't to my tastes, but that feels too coarse grained because maybe they post in the asklemmy or something with great content there.

[–] Radovic@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 9 months ago

If ever there was a user whose existence argued against the ability to downvote thou art the man.

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 9 months ago

We will do some hacky things to cut costs. This also poses some risks. We'll see.

[–] norske@lemmynsfw.com 41 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Well, regardless of how you might feel about the just you’re doing, as a frequent user I think you’re doing great. Moderation of any platform is a thankless job. It’s a lot like politics where the people that want moderation power probably aren’t the ones that should have it.

Downvotes. I think they should be on. I know brigading is def a problem. But on the other hand, not having downvotes enabled forces users to rely on reporting everything to a mod instead of letting the downvotes do their job.

The costs and donation stuff. That’s a lot of personal investment without much in return. Once I’m employed again I’d love to help out somehow.

Good luck on the UI stuff. I been on Voyager app on IOS since it launched so I have no opinions.

Keep up the good work amigo!

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

For a few months I was just on the technical and moderation side and things were simple. @gavi was handling the management well but left. You know, everything is fine in the beginning when it comes to hobby work. However, as you progress and other work gets in the way, it gets a little overwhelming. I believe we experienced this here.

The down vote issue is really complicated. Can't comment for now.

For new UI; rather than replacing existing UIs, we trying to create an alternative for consuming visual content. We plan to have a structure similar to scrolller.com in the final product.

[–] jumpingjack@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I genuinely don't know so forgive my ignorance. What does downvoting do for moderation purposes? People still see it on their feed and don't downvotes count for "active" posts to be presented? It does not remove the rule-breaking post and if people just downvote them a mod might completely miss the post since no one is reporting it.

[–] norske@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It doesn’t do it directly. Downvotes promote self-moderation. Posts getting downvoted disincentivizes someone from posting another thing that might get downvoted. When you take downvotes away, people are less inclined to self-moderate and it shifts the burden to a mod.

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[–] jumpingjack@lemmynsfw.com 31 points 9 months ago

I've lurked for a while here and the only disagreeable thing I've ran across on this instance is the downvoting. We all know users are using it as a disagree or dislike button and it breaks my heart to see people putting genuine and authentic OC out there just for other people's enjoyment and receiving that kind of treatment. In the past I've upvoted several posts because of this behavior I've seen with like males posting on gonewild being instantly downvoted. It's definitely crushed someones day or has even stopped people from continuing to create content for this community.

The only reason for downvoting I've seen on here is laziness for not curtailing your own feed (subscribing, blocking) or downright petty behavior of making an anonymous statement that you don't like someone or what they do. There's a report button, a block button, or an unsubscribe button. Instead they've decided to move a few inches over to be an asshole. Whatever the outcome is, thank you for making this change and giving it a chance.

[–] BeAware@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

There's literally no point in interacting at all without downvotes. You're taking away the user's choice of what can get popular, that's the reason sites like this are so popular. If this stays I'll just go back to RedGifs. I can scroll all day there without votes and there's more content.🤦‍♂️

[–] Radovic@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There’s literally no point in interacting at all without downvotes.

If the extent of your engagement is voting then nothing is lost without your engagement. Why the fuck should I source content, verify it and then post it when all you little Emperor Commoduses just downvote it for the lulz?

[–] BeAware@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I usually don't "downvote it for the lulz" I downvote because either I don't think it deserves to be a "top" post or it's condescending and negative, therefore it automatically deserves a downvote.

People downvote for a number of reasons and it gives the user power to let people be seen or not based directly on their input.

If you just wanna shout your nudes into the void with no input, you can do that on literally every other website.

This is a reddit type website, which means upvotes and downvotes. Not "just upvotes because downvotes hurts snowflakes feelings". That's not what this site is for and there's no point in changing that because if you don't want that, then why are you here?

May as well take upvotes away too. People post mean comments sometimes! Take those away too! Oh, someone reported something and said something bad in the report? Take those away too! Matter of fact, no more text on Lemmy NSFW at all! Just pics, no titles because those can be mean!

You see? Where's the line?

[–] Radovic@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'd rather you left a mean comment because then I can tell pretty much where you're coming from. If you're a cunt then I can ignore you. If you have a particular gripe with the picture (too old, too small, kink you don't like etc.) I can decide what to do about that on a case by case basis, you never know you might end up getting content that you like better. And that's before we get into the vote manipulation argument where users can promote their own content against competing content.

Can you give me an example of a condescending post? Not a comment, a condescending post.

The fact that you're unironically using the "snowflakes" argument makes me suspect that you just use downvotes because you're a miserable type of a person and you just want to spread that misery around.

[–] BeAware@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I love how instead of debating the argument, you attack my character.

Try again. This time with a case against my argument and not my character. You can do it. I believe in you.👍

[–] Radovic@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ahhh see you have now reverted to the standard troll handbook. And that's why the downvotes were turned off. Off you pop, back to Redgifs and don't let the door hit your arse on the way out.

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[–] PutangInaMo@lemmy.world 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Once downvotes were disabled I stopped using votes altogether.

You can't only give us one option to voice preferences. Alternatively I could just comment on posts I don't like but that would be considered harassment, and honestly that's extremely petty..

Harsh words here, but if you're putting yourself out there and get emotional about getting downvoted, you should probably reevaluate your choices. Go on only fans, this isn't a safe space that should be tailored to your insecurities. Or go start your own community and stay out of the ones that show you that they don't want you posting there. Just saying.

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[–] WooBoy@lemmynsfw.com 26 points 9 months ago (8 children)

Thanks so much for the work you're doing here! As a reddit refugee, I really appreciate it! You're doing a great job 😁

As someone who posts OC, I prefer not having downvotes. We post pictures of ourselves and were getting downvoted due to our not being conventionally attractive (presumably). It was very disheartening.

It makes me more likely to post here with their not being downvotes.

You shouldn't have to put your own money into this, unless you really want to. I would be willing to make a donation if you can find a payment processor.

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[–] Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

While I don't have any solutions for you I do have enormous amounts of respect and gratitude.

Downvotes: I don't personally miss them because I rarely used them. Either a comment/post is egregious that it warrants a report or reply, else it's worth ignoring. If the Content Creators prefer no downvotes because they're discouraging, then that's fine by me, more content is more better and the report button exists for "rule breaking" and "off topic".

Donations: No solutions only sympathy here. I hope you figure something out, I'm not sure the promise of a donation if/when you do helps or hurts right now. You're right that "sketch" is a barrier to entry for donations, but I can't donate the kind of money that my donation is worth chasing anyways.

LemmyNSFW became my main by accident, but it remains my main because I haven't found an instance I like better. The way you conduct yourself through challenges such as defederation, the Blahaj (sp) conversations, preemptive defence agains Meta... Honestly, it's close to faultless and looking at other instances it's hard to leave. Thank you and much love.

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[–] SmuttyLad@lemmynsfw.com 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

IMO up & downvotes both have a purpose. Content can be disagreeable without being rule-breaking. I've certainly found downvotes a helpful indicator in the past, occasionally highlighting a poor formulation that caused one of my comments to be misunderstood.

A potential middle-ground might be disallowing downvotes on post, but permitting them on comments?

Either way, big thanks to you for hosting the site, and hope the donations situation gets resolved!

[–] anaisrim@mastodon.social 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

@SmuttyLad @yay

Discussion about this in the Mod coordination room is IMO the proximate cause. An older woman posted an image of herself in shibari ropes to a shibari forum and got cruel commentary over her appearance and a mass of downvotes. And that kind of behavior had happened before in gonewild, driving away many good amateur contributors.

I don't care about removing downvotes. But I do want strong enforcement when it come to the community hurting real people.

https://lemmynsfw.com/post/6909667

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[–] cavveman@lemmynsfw.com 19 points 9 months ago

You could create a WordPress blog where people could donate through with PayPal or other similar system. On that blog you can write poems or whatever in exchange for donations. To be precise, the WordPress blog receives the donations that you will use for Lemmy.

[–] ninjan@lemmy.mildgrim.com 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Building community is hard, it's even harder when everyone is hard and/or wet...

I can't really offer much in terms of advice other than maybe reach out to people that have done this journey before? Top of mind is the guys and gals over at empornium.is which is a very active and alive NSFW community with healthy donation flow. It's of course not the exact same as what you've built here but I'm confident there is bound to be overlaps in challenges and experiences.

You do good work but you should of course not have to spend 1/12 of your income on helping us get off. Unless you're hardcore into FinDom that is...

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

first time i heard about empornium.is. I can't log in to the site, do you know how things in there?

About findom, there is so many people here to go beyond the boundaries of hardcore :D

[–] ninjan@lemmy.mildgrim.com 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The site is invite only and I don't have any to give out at this time I'm afraid. But the people active there can be reached on IRC. I'll send the details to you privately.

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 9 months ago

Alright thanks my friend.

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[–] demonologic@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't really have any useful suggestions unfortunately, but I'd like to thank you for doing all this anyhow ❤️

Hopefully we can all figure out some way to get the donation thing sorted out so that it'd be easy to get monthly recurring stuff flowing, would make it more likely for you to get a steadier income from them.

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[–] unshygf@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

for the donation stuff, no one has mentioned throne/wishtender, both allow recurrent donations and are used by the nsfw community

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 9 months ago

These sites looks promising. I’ll check out for sure. Thank you 😊

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

Reddit made exactly three good decisions. Downvotes, threaded comments, and subreddits.

[–] ILikeYourBoobs@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Are "coins" like crypto? Maybe I'm not looking in the right places, but I haven't seen a donation address. Help me help you.

Also, is this the sort of thing OnlyFans can help with?

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[–] shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zip 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Monero for the donations and move the domain and instance to a host that accepts monero. Check out monerica.com to find some

[–] yay@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Monero is cool but people avoiding crypto unfortunately.

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[–] mammalian@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 9 months ago

On the topic of downvotes. I think this should be something that can be decided community by community. I don't like the blanket ban across all. It makes more sense in some communities than others.

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