this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 75 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Should... Should I be thinking about how to kill everyone i meet? That seems like a lot of mental load for zero payoff

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 52 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but you should also be polite, efficient, and armed with a jar of piss

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 35 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm barely able to remember my wallet and keys in the morning you think I'm prepping a piss jar every day? I could keep it in my car i guess

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

Keep your jarate in a cool dry place, trunk of the car will cause it to oxidize into something horri-

Actually, yeah go ahead and keep it in the car, that makes it more effective.

[–] ColonelKataffy@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

you should be gaming it out

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[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 74 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] idkmybffjoeysteel@hexbear.net 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is... is this him? This looks exactly like him

[–] goose@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

The mark of a true master of disguise

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

Koopa Dilbert

[–] idkmybffjoeysteel@hexbear.net 63 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I think it is always worth putting a face to the name when men speak about violence.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 35 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Dude would crumple like a sack of potatos if a 12 year old hit him. I've gamed it out.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 24 points 9 months ago

Crumple like a sack of potatoes when a woman asks him to clean his room

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

That's the face of a torturer if ever I've seen one. I can't imagine him lifting a gun or swinging a bat, but I can easily see him telling me they haff veys of making me talk.

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[–] newmou@hexbear.net 46 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yeah that’s right, I’m a veteran of the war of mentally gaming out wrestling matches with other dudes

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure you're just fantasizing about other men panting

[–] tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

When we see a man, we instinctively see his whole body in our mind, genitals and all, to observe for weak points. Often when viewing a tall formidable opponent I notice I find myself becoming aroused. This is because the human Man must procreate soon after defeating his enemy, at the greatest time of sexual energy and safety. There is no such thing as same-sex attraction, it's a feminist myth.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 46 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes women are famous for never evaluating the potential danger of other people.

picard

[–] tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

"Woman don't understand this. We are born with hypervigilance. Only men have the strength and power of will to sit in the back of Denny's watching the entrance and exits for any potential threats, never a moment to relax. Life is war."

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[–] ComRed2@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago

He has more lead flowing through his veins than blood.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago

He's the perfect alpha male and women like you don't understand his hate fuck ideology game theory.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 35 points 9 months ago

This is what runs through Dilbert's head as he sits in his fourth meeting of the day.

[–] beef_curds@hexbear.net 32 points 9 months ago

My man looks like Larry David, but talks like Liam Neeson in Taken.

[–] macabrett@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Look you don't understand, this is a dude thing. We're masculine and violent. Which is why we've gamed this out to not have violence, because if it gets violent we both lose. I'm a manly man. Don't make me get violent.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago

Dude’s acting like the residual trauma and neurosis he has from being stuffed into his locker by every kid bigger than him in high school is some steely seal team six war gaming.

[–] qwertyqwertyqwerty@lemmy.one 27 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Why is it that when closet MAGA's go public, they double down on their beliefs, and then their brain seems to rot from the inside out shortly after?

[–] jaeme@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Cause it's mostly just repackaged self hate that spirals out of control, pretty sad really to see dirty laundry aired out in public, but its also funne.

[–] qwertyqwertyqwerty@lemmy.one 16 points 9 months ago

Agreed. It is funne.

[–] Goblin@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

Now that he says it, this is the exact reason I prefer the company of woman. Most men I got a 5% of killing them before they twist me like a twig. With woman, it's more like a 20/80 shot I live another day. Hard to argue with the math.

[–] regul@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

I want Biden to federalize the Texas National Guard so bad.

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dude is speaking through some serious trauma. Doesn't make what he's saying any less awful, but it does speak to the fucked up way the US traumatizes people.

[–] context@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

he's said before that he's had a gun pointed at him in anger more than once (not surprising considering what a piece of shit he is), it does sound a lot like hypervigilance

[–] 420blazeit69@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

We should make him honest then...

[–] context@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

let me believe this one

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[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

he's said before that he's had a gun pointed at him in anger more than once

I doubt that actually happened to him (maybe that's how he gamed it out in his mind). But if i take him at his word then wow. That's not a normal thing to happen to anyone once. He's a piece of shit and deserves it, but I've met plenty of assholes who this hasn't and won't ever happen to. What the hell has been saying irl and to who?

[–] MattsAlt@hexbear.net 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I know of at least two people who have had it happen to that are perfectly normal as a result of road ragers due to "cutting them off" or honking. Nearly been in a similar situation myself I suspect had I not made an illegal u turn and sped off. Car brain in the South is something

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[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago

both this enormous dweeb and jorpy really are telling on themselves when they talk about how they see every man as a potential threat and are sizing them up mentally

they're just living in an absolute state of terror

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 9 months ago

If you showed me this tweet from the future as I chuckled at the Dilbert strip in the paper in the 90s, I would say "dear lord what the fuck is going to happen in the next couple decades??"

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Weird post from a guy, who clearly hasn't been punched in the face despite of his best attempts

Funniest thing about guys calling for a more violent society, they would be the first ones to literally die

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[–] Deello@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago

Behind the bastards did an episode on him. Worth a listen.

[–] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

I've gamed it out and the feds can win the war without firing a single bullet. Just close every other Bucc-ee's in Texas.

[–] oktherebuddy@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Was this guy's public entry into politics talking about trump's "talent stack" back in 2016? I remember that phrase randomly entering like every news article I read.

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[–] CoolYori@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

You all don't understand you have to always be updating your threat model by doing ocular pat-downs. How are you to know when something is a security risk or not?

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago

Dilbert was always the comic in the papers that I looked at for funny glasses guy and then skipped over for Garfield.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 9 points 9 months ago

ranch? or cool ranch?

[–] axont@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

This is the guy who will post a shirtless image of himself when he loses arguments on twitter

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