It has nothing to with you having to accept it, it's the instance itself having to confirm the subscription request. That doesn't work reliably atm: https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/3203
this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
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Ahh great, thank you! I will get back to the user.
The subscription is probably complete it’s just not being reflected cosmetically. I’m replying to this even though my subscription to the community has shown Pending for over a week.
Sometimes you can clear the bug by clicking them Subscribe Pending button (unsubscribing) and then subscribing again, sometimes not. Most of my subs to Lemmy.ml show pending but I’m able to interact just fine.
it’s just not being reflected cosmetically.
It is only cosmetic if the community is already replicating between the two server instances. If you are on a mostly-empty (new) Lemmy server, then it is more serious and the actual flow of new postings and comments won't happen.
On a major site like Lemmy.world you likely aren't the very first to try and join a particular remote community, so it may only seem cosmetic.
That's why I reflected my specific user experience. I am not on a major instance, such as lemmy.world. My subscription to this community has shown "Subscribe Pending" for a week but I'm obviously subscribed as evidenced by the fact that we're having this conversation.
Not trying to deny that there are a multitude of issues and other possibilities.