A small spider comes and pours the milk into your mouth, his name is Alfonso.
this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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ientists confirmed that the milk is meant to nourish all of the baby spiders hatching in our bodies as we sleep[3]
Science is amazing!
I was all for this until I found out the spider is an It*lian
What a cutie pie 🕷
Unlike you betas I stay on my grind in my sleep, producing 1 gallon (3.8L) of milk 😤
But how much of that is consumed by spiders in your sleep to feed their babies in other people while they sleep?
The average person is lactose intolerant. https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/lactose-intolerance-by-country
That's why they did the study. It's apparently "the worst public health crisis since cholera".
Yeah, not like there's an insidious respiratory virus exploding
They're measuring it in terms of # of people per capita shitting themselves to death.
Wow. I didn't know that. You're telling me now for the first time there's a public health crisis that people can solve at home by using their personal responsibility to be vegan?
The study mentions that vegans end up drinking even more milk in their sleep than self-described milk drinkers.
oh fuck
but does this mean I'm also a milk drinker?
oh fuck
it's always the same map...
What the headline doesn't mention is that the average nocturnal milk drinker actually drinks closer to two gallons per night, but not everyone is an NMD so the average across the entire population ends up being a little under 1 gallon.
That explains so much
What kind of milk are we talking about here?
Physical characteristics
The physical characteristics such as moisture, total solids, specific gravity, pH, conductivity, viscosity and titratable acidity are important parameters in studying the physicochemical compositions and nutritional aspects of the samples. Table Table11 shows the various physical parameters of the different milk samples indicating that all are whole milk from a cow. The moisture contents of milk samples were in the range of (76.4±4.30)% to (86.9±5.12)%.
Male or female cow?
It doesn't say in the analysis or discussion sections.
NOOOOOOOOOO 
thats why i keep waking up covered in milk and farting enough to kill my plants
chocolate or strawberry ?
The study I read didn't mention any analysis done for those compounds. Just like viscosity and pH.
I’ve never drunk enough milk in one go to overwhelm my body’s ability to process lactose. I’m curious what my limit is, but not enough to suffer the consequences.