this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2023
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cats

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[–] peereboominc@lemm.ee 77 points 1 year ago (2 children)

At least it had the decency too stay on it. Could have sit on it for a minute, walk away and then watch you eat it.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're going to give me a fear of leaving food unwatched...

[–] MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here’s a better one for ya. If the worst thing you unknowingly put in your mouth, chew, and swallow is a little cat butt. Then, you should consider yourself lucky.

I did pest control for several years. We always said that cats are the worst pest in the house. They stomp around in a box of their own feces and urine. Then they track that all over your counter tops and furniture. They sit on you counters and furniture with a bare butthole.

I mean let’s face it. If you have a cat you’ve more than like put something in your mouth that touched their b-hole even if indirectly.

[–] Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Cats are dicks....

[–] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seriously, this cat is a Saint Cat

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Like seriously. The cat didn't even think about eating the cheese.

[–] anonionfinelyminced@kbin.social 65 points 1 year ago

The cat, cleaning itself a little later: Hmmm, my butthole tastes especially good today

[–] spacecowboy@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You just put food directly on dirty surfaces? Do you not have plates?

[–] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ikr I wanna laugh at this and I guess I still can, but my brain keeps going back to this! And also who puts like... a slice of cheese that only partially covers the white bread and that's how they eat?? With Nothing else?. I just don't wanna comprehend a world where that's a thing I guess.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

People who have just a small sice of cheese left in the fridge?

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I wouldn't necessarily call that a dirty surface. Unless you mean the butthole - that's ditrty enough.

[–] alienangel@sffa.community 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I dunno, those buttholes get cleaned pretty thoroughly multiple times a day. Probably more thoroughly than most human buttholes. Might actually be cleaner than the window sill.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I respect this answer.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I should not have to say this: The window sill is not a food prep surface

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I don't think anyone is preparing food there. People can be more or less sensitive about the cleanliness of surfaces they put their own food on and it's ok.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far.

[–] Foggyfroggy@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] kensand@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Coffee stain

[–] Slow@lemmy.today 18 points 1 year ago

Heats up a sandwich for the owner

[–] evolatic@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You must now flip the cat and see of it lands on its feet or if the toast lands butter side down.

[–] Blaster_M@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Which begs the question, if this were truly possible what’s more likely, that we as a species decide to farm unlimited energy using cat torture, or the oil industry beats them to it and just exterminates cats while making butter illegal

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Imagine all the slices you did this with that you didn't notice the cat sat in while you were on a call

[–] Dio@lemy.lol 8 points 1 year ago

Butthole all over that bred

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Well it's not technically gone, you could still eat it