this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Men's Liberation

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This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


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[–] No1RivenFucker@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sure there's people out there that this is genuinely great advice for, but at least from my perspective, it just reads like an extremely long way to say almost nothing. "be out there and be confident" is like the most basic possible dating advice, ever, and is really only useful if you're completely off track on things. And to some extent, I feel like the article did itself a disservice by making it entirely gender neutral, because like it or not, society still tends to be highly gendered, and the problems people face in dating tend to be different along gendered lines.

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“be out there and be confident”

But that's what it boils down to in the end - especially for men. Decent looking women and above can even leave out the second part completely.

[–] No1RivenFucker@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's like the "have you tried restarting your computer" of dating. It's the most basic possible piece of advice. To that end, most people have heard it tons of times, especially if they're in the market for dating advice. It's not bad advice, just not anything special.

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But there is no special secret to dating to begin with.

[–] No1RivenFucker@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, but there's absolutely good advice to be had.

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sure on individual level but without knowing the person there is not much general advice to be given. It will always be general things like don't be ugly or shy.

[–] No1RivenFucker@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I agree there's no perfect universal advice, but that doesn't mean advice shouldn't be given, just that it should be more tailored.

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

Like I said, to give a tailored advice you actually need to know the person pretty well, to understand where exactly they fuck up.